Deep Surrendering: Episode Six by Chelsea M. Cameron Read Free Book Online Page B

moment.
    “Is that really it?”
    I nodded. “Yes. If you even knew what he’s been through, Chlo. It breaks my heart.” She pulled me in for a hug, as if I was the one with the tragic past.
    “He’s good to me, Chlo. And he makes me happy, believe it or not.” I gave her a smile, and she returned it.
    “I know, I can see that. I just worry about you. That’s my job as your best friend. To not trust anyone else you spend time with.” She patted my back and let go.
    “I really wish I could tell you, so someone else would know besides me. It’s … it’s a lot to hear about and think about. I know I didn’t go through it, but even if I heard about these things happening to a stranger, I’d be upset. He didn’t deserve it.” And now I wanted to cry.
    Chloe gave me a sympathetic look. “That sounds awful. I wish I could help.”
    “Yeah, me too. But it’s been a struggle to get him to trust me with anything. I don’t think he’d be willing to share it with you. But maybe I’ll ask.” I knew he would say no, but maybe not. He’d surprised me more than once.

“I didn’t know if you were going to call me today,” I said late that night when Fin finally called me via video chat. I was trying not to be jealous about the Rory thing, but it was hard.
    “Sorry, Mari Cherry. Busy day. My father was … anyway. The reason I called Rory and not you was because I was asked to. I tried to argue with him, but it didn't go very well. Not that I minded calling her. She’s a good friend and fun to talk to, but she’s not you.” Oh, got it. I knew that Rory’s parents and Fin’s parents had tried to get them together with no success. Maybe they were still trying.
    “Apparently, the annual Clarke Enterprises Ball is coming up and my father wanted me to see if I could secure an invitation as Rory’s escort,. I’m pretty sure she’s going with Lucas, but he thinks she’s going to drop him and come to me. I had to call her, even if we didn’t talk about that, just to save face. I’m so sorry. Can you forgive me?”
    I tried to keep my face and voice neutral. “Well, I mean, I’m not thrilled about it, Fin. Why can’t you just tell your father that it’s your life and you’re an adult and you can do what you want?”
    He was silent for a moment.
    “I’m so sorry. I’m going to be better.”
    I wanted to believe him.
    “Show me. Don’t tell me,” I said.
    He nodded.
    “Forgive me?” he asked again.
    “Yeah. But don’t do it again.” I shook my finger at him and cracked a smile. He smiled back, relieved.
    “Good. Because you have nothing to worry about. I’m trying to be the man you want me to be.”
    I frowned. “No, that’s not what I want. I want you to be the man you are . That’s the guy I want. Don’t change yourself for me, Fin.” It was crazy that I even had to say that. I’d fallen for him, dark and light alike.
    “I guess that came out wrong. I … I want to be better than I am because you deserve better.”
    I opened my mouth to argue with him, but he put his hand up.
    “I’ve done a lot of, well … not so good things. Some of them you know about and some you don’t. I thought I’d be dragging them along with me for the rest of my life, like Jacob Marley and his chains. With you, I feel almost new. Like my past doesn’t define who I am. It’s still there, and I can’t always escape it, but I have moments of freedom. And it’s glorious.” He grinned, and I couldn’t help but smile as well.
    “That’s all I want for you. Freedom. Complete and total.” From his father and his obligations as well. But if I could even give him a little, that was good. “What would give you complete freedom?” I asked casually.
    “You know the answer to that, and it’s not going to happen. I know you think I’m strong enough, but … it’s just not going to happen. It’s not that I don’t want to. I just don’t know if I’m up for the fight.” He was so defeated. So beaten