Defensive by J.D. Rivera Read Free Book Online Page B

with her that night and we had sex. Apparently when she came here, she was hoping we could get back together. She was going to tell me but decided not to when she found out how much I love you.”
    “Then why did she call you and tell you now?” It came out a lot harsher than I had intended but I couldn’t seem to care.
    “I’m not really sure. I guess guilt.”
    This was too much. He was having a child with another woman. I pushed back from the table. “I really need to be alone right now. I’ll talk to you soon, okay?” I didn’t look at him as I got up and left. I ran to the door as fast as I could, hoping he wouldn’t follow me.
    I reached my car and looked back at his door, where he was now standing, watching me. I wanted to cry so badly. I had so many feelings and thoughts running through me that I felt weighed down. All I could do was fall into the seat and put the car in reverse as I buckled my seatbelt. I had to leave before he saw me break down.
    I wasn’t really sure how I got home or even how I got into my bedroom but the next thing I knew I was falling onto my bed. My thoughts were a jumbled mess. He should be with the girl who’s used to being in the spotlight. He’ll be so wrapped up in her pregnancy he won’t have time for you. He’ll already be used to having a baby by the time yours is born, and he’ll barely even care . You’ll probably lose the baby and he’ll run straight to her.
    I rolled to my side and hugged the pillow that Jackson slept on when he stayed over. I could still smell his cologne. I knew I was going to lose him. I had been kidding myself thinking that he could be the man for me. I was such a fool.
    I heard buzzing behind me, coming from my phone on the nightstand. I thought about ignoring it but I couldn’t. I looked at the screen; there were four text messages from Jackson.
    Jackson: Please come back and talk to me.
    Jackson: Vanessa, please come back or call me.
    Jackson: This changes nothing. I love you.
    Jackson: Fine. I’ll give you some space but I love you. Remember that.
    I knew I needed to reply but I wasn’t sure what to say. I was a jumbled mess inside and I was scared I would say something I would later regret. Finally, I decided on simple.
    Me: I love you, too. Just give me some time.

    The next morning, while I was getting dressed for work, I heard a knock on my door. I assumed it would be Jackson but it wasn’t. When I opened the door, a floral delivery man was standing at the door holding a dozen red roses. My heart melted, but at the same time, I questioned whether it was too early for deliveries. I decided I didn’t care and grabbed the roses from the man.
    “Wait right here. I’ll be right back,” I told him before walking back into my apartment to find some cash. I placed the vase on the counter then grabbed some money. I jogged back to the man, gave him a tip, and closed the door.
    My heart was racing for some reason. It wasn’t like it was the first time I had received roses or flowers from Jackson. I almost sprinted the few feet back to the counter and grabbed the card.
     
Vanessa,
You’re my everything and always will be. Never doubt that.
I love you,
Jackson
 
    I wanted to cry. I clutched the card to my chest and took deep steadying breaths, trying to keep the tears at bay that were trying to escape. I knew he loved me but I still felt so confused. I looked down at my stomach. I was carrying his child, too. Maybe things would work out. I just needed time to process everything and figure out the best way to tell him our news.
    I got dressed and walked out to my car. Just as I was opening the door, I felt someone behind me. I quickly dropped into the seat, trying to shut the door just as someone grabbed it. I looked up to see Jackson. He looked just as handsome as ever but tired. Like he hadn’t slept all night. His hair was all out of place and he had on wrinkled sweats and an old T-shirt.
    “You scared the crap out of me,” I told