Girls in Tears by Jacqueline Wilson Read Free Book Online

though she was brilliant at art.”
    “You know nothing about it,” says Dad. “Your mother didn’t want to work. She wanted to look after you.”
    “Yes, but I bet she’d have wanted to work once I was at school. She’d have been a brilliant graphic artist, just like Anna’s brilliant at her designing. That’s what you can’t stick, Dad. You’re not brilliant. You want us all to look up to you and think you’re wonderful. Well, you’re not. The only thing you’re brilliant at is making us all unhappy.”
    “Well, now I know,” says Dad, and he walks out, slamming the door.
    I’m left standing there, wondering if I want to go shrieking down the front path after him.
    Maybe I’ve said enough.
    I’m shaking. Anna comes and puts her arm round me, taking me back into the kitchen. She pours me a cup of tea. Eggs is staring at us, his spoon of cereal dripping slowly up his sweater sleeve.
    “You shouted at Dad, Ellie!” says Eggs. “You’ll get into
big
trouble.”
    “I don’t care,” I say, sipping my tea. My teeth clink against the china. I look at Anna. “I’m sorry. I just couldn’t help coming out with it.”
    “I know,” says Anna, patting my shoulder. “Don’t worry so, Ellie. It might just all blow over.”
    “It might not,” I say, and I give her a quick hug.
    I think about what might happen as I walk to the bus stop. I play the kid’s game of not stepping on the cracks of the pavement. If I can make it all the way to school, then Dad and Anna won’t split up. I used to long for that to happen. I wanted Anna to clear off with Eggs so that it could be just Dad and me. But now that’s not what I want at all. I’d hate it to be just Dad and me—or Dad and me and some new girlfriend. I’d feel as out of it as Russell.
    I think of him longingly. I touch my ring, twisting it round and round. Maybe we’ll stay together forever and then we’ll have our own place. We won’t ever be lonely anymore. We’ll have each other. . . .
    I close my eyes and whisper Russell’s name— and very nearly walk straight into the blond guy, Mr. Dream Man. He sidesteps neatly.
    “Whoops! Collision avoided—just!”
    “I’ve got my punchbag rucksack under control, don’t worry.”
    “Not in such a hurry today? What were you daydreaming about, eh? Your boyfriend?”
    “Maybe,” I say, blushing.
    “Ah, sweet! True love, eh?”
    “I think so.”
    I
know
so. I think about Russell all the way to school. I remember the way he kissed me just last night. I feel my whole body weaken at the thought of his touch. But at the corner of my mind’s eye little Ellie Elephant droops her head, trunk trailing, forced to do all sorts of new tricks for Russell when she’s mine and she only wants to do things
my
way.
    I can’t wait to see Magda and Nadine. I desperately need to tell them all about Dad and Anna and see if they think this is deadly serious.
    I
also
want to ask them about Russell and exactly how far they think I should go. We often talk about it. We even have different numbers for various activities. Nadine went
way
down the list with Liam, but Magda has always been surprisingly prim and insists she’s never going to do more than kiss until she’s in a proper relationship later on. But this is now, not later, and Russell and I are in a proper relationship. I need Magda and Nadine’s
advice
.
    They’re both at school when I get there, sitting squashed up together on a desk, legs dangling. Nadine whispers to Magda and they both splutter with laughter.
    “Hi! What’s the big joke, then?” I say.
    They look at each other. Nadine shakes her head ever so slightly. “Oh, nothing,” she says.
    “Yeah, we were just messing about,” says Magda.
    I stare at them, my heart thudding. Nothing! They’ve got some private secret joke going between them and I’m not in on it. But we always share everything. We’re best friends, the three of us. I suddenly feel like some sad little toddler shut out of the