Detection Unlimited by Georgette Heyer Read Free Book Online

not at all sure. You were one of the naughtiest little boys I ever encountered: that I do know!'

    That was before I came under your influence. Best of my Aunts.'

    'Get along with you! Who was at your party? Besides Thaddeus Drybeck, and the Major! I know they were there.'

    'Everyone was at our party, except you and Our Flora. In fact, it was the success of the season. The Major told us that Our Flora was expecting a litter. No, I don't mean that, though she looks so like an Ultima herself that I almost might.'

    'Ullapool,' said Miss Patterdale. 'I ran into Flora on the common, and she told me.'

    'Ullapool!' exclaimed Charles reverently. That's a new one on me, and it has my unqualified approval.'

    'It isn't as good as Ultima Uplift,' objected Abby. That's my favourite, easily!'

    'What, more than Umbrella?' said Charles incredulously.

    This, naturally, led to a lively discussion on the respective merits of all the more absurd names which Mrs Midgeholme had bestowed on her Pekes. Miss Patterdale, entering into the argument, said in her incisive way: 'Your're both wrong. Ultima Urf was the best.'

    'Ultima What?' demanded both her hearers.

    'Urf. It was the runt of the litter, you see. It died.'

    'Angel, I don't see!' complained Abby.

    'It means a stunted child,' explained Miss Patterdale. 'Not bad, 37 really, except that one would feel such a fool, shouting Urf, Urf, Urf, in the street. At least, I should. Not that I've any right to poke fun at Flora. Anything more unsuitable for a couple of goats than Rosalind and Celia I've yet to discover. I must have been out of my mind. Celia got loose this afternoon, and strayed. That's how I met Flora. She was giving some of her dogs a run on the common.'

    'Has Ullapool had her puppies? I'd love to see them,' said Abby.

    'You wouldn't be able to for several weeks. No, she hasn't. Flora doesn't think they'll arrive until tomorrow. It wasn't really that which kept her away from the party. She didn't want to meet Mr Warrenby. They've had a violent quarrel. He kicked Ulysses off one of his flower-beds.'

    'Beast!' said Abby.

    'Yes, I'm not at all in favour of that,' said Charles. 'I shall pay a visit of condolence. I like Ulysses. He's a dog of dignity. Ready for another Haswell Special, Abby?'

    She handed him her glass. 'Thanks. As a matter of fact, Mr Warrenby wasn't there. He had to do some work, or something. Mavis was rather dim and boring about Poor Uncle having to get his own tea.'

    'Do him good!' said Miss Patterdale. 'If Mavis had an ounce of commonsense - but she hasn't, and she never will have! The longer I live the more convinced I become that self-sacrificing people do a great deal of harm in the world.'

    Charles choked over the Haswell Special. Abby, regarding her aunt with indulgent fondness, said: 'You're a nice one to talk!'

    'If you mean by that that I'm self-sacrificing, you are mistaken.'

    'Aunt Miriam! You spend your entire life slaving for the indigent, and the sick, and every charity that raises its head --'

    That isn't self-sacrificing. It comes of being a parson's daughter, .md acquiring the habit young. Besides, I like it. Shouldn't do it, if I didn't. When I talk of self-sacrificing people, I mean people like Mavis, making doormats of themselves, and giving up everything they like to satisfy the demands of thoroughly selfish characters like Sampson Warrenby. Making a virtue of it, too. It isn't a virtue. Take Sampson Warrenby! If he weren't allowed to ride roughshod over Mavis, he'd be very much better-behaved, and consequently much better-liked.'

    'He might be,' said Charles dubiously. 'Speaking for myself, I find him even more unlikable in his ingratiating moments than when he sees himself as Lord of all he surveys. You ought to hear Dad on the subject of his antics on the Borough Council! He says Warrenby would like to be a sort of puppet-master pulling strings to set the rest of 'em dancing to his tune. Peculiar ambition!'

    'Power-complex,'