Land of a Hundred Wonders by Lesley Kagen Read Free Book Online

do say so myself.”
    â€œWill she race, ya think?”
    â€œSure hope so. Handsome is her sire and—” But then the barn phone starts ringing, and Miss Jessie says on her dash outta the stall, “Be right back. You keep pettin’ on her. She’s gotta get used to being handled.”
    â€œOkey-dokey,” I say, going toward the filly on soft feet. I want to lay my cheek against her toasty neck ’cause these foals always smell delicious, but she shakes me off like a fly and darts under her mother for comfort, and her doing that, that makes the saddest feeling sweep over me. I work real hard at not allowing myself to miss my mama much, but sometimes the deep yearning for her seeps outta my heart and pools into a spot I’ve found is best not dove into.
    â€œWell, this is gettin’ more interestin’ by the second,” Miss Jessie says, bustling back down the aisle with a saddle and bridle that she sets down on the rack outside Peaches’s stall. “Seems it’s not a rumor anymore. Nobody’s seen Buster for a coupla days. What’s wrong?”
    â€œHay in my eye, is all,” I say, sliding the birthing stall door closed behind me. I don’t want her to tell Grampa I was crying. He wouldn’t approve. “How’d ya find that out? About Mr. Buster bein’ gone for sure?”
    â€œThat was Sheriff Johnson on the phone. Pull her out of the stall, Gib.”
    After getting Peaches hooked up in the aisle, Miss Jessie eases the saddle down on her scruffy gray back. I am hoping to ride horses again, but since the crash, I’ve had some balancing problems. This donkey is closer to the ground, if you get my drift.
    â€œThe sheriff’s been up to the Malloy place and talked to his help,” Miss Jessie says, fastening the girth tight.
    â€œIf Mr. Malloy has been missing for a coupla days, I think the help shoulda called down to the sheriff’s station earlier. Would that be appropriate thinkin’?” (Reverend Jack, down at the Methodist church? He’s always trying to get me to think “appropriately.”)
    â€œThat certainly would be appropriate thinkin’,” Miss Jessie replies in a complimentary way. “The field boss told the sheriff that Buster mentioned somethin’ about going to a government get-together and he assumed that’s where Buster’s been. But whoever it was that he was supposed to be meetin’ up with called the sheriff station this morning reportin’ that he never showed up.”
    â€œOh, my, my. The field boss assuming like that? That is such a big mistake to make.” The Importance of Perception in Meticulous Investigation says that assuming anything is just about the worse thing anybody can do. You should never assume anything until you have the facts. “Are you by any chance having hot sex with Sheriff Johnson?”
    â€œLord.”
    I asked her that because when Miss Jessie and Grampa go out to dinner at Gil’s Supper Club, and she’s gussied up in that vanilla dress of hers that is cut on the low side up top, and the high side down below, well, I strongly suspect Grampa wouldn’t mind spooning her up for dessert. But if my understanding is correct, hot sex is a one-per-customer deal, and if she’s already having it with the sheriff, that would leave Grampa SOL. (Shit outta love.)
    â€œNo, I am not having hot sex or any other kind of sex with the sheriff,” Miss Jessie snips as she fastens the last strap on the bridle. “And I better not see that tidbit in next week’s Gazette .”
    â€œFine, but ya best be careful,” I warn. “He looks at you with a lot of lust, ya know.”
    â€œOh he does, does he?” she says, still snotty sounding.
    â€œYes, he does. In fact, I bet LeRoy wouldn’t mind one bit gob-blin’ you up whole,” I say, swinging myself into the saddle. “Just like he does one a Miss