Diamond in the Blue: D.I. Simpers Investigates by Phil Kingsman Read Free Book Online Page A

thought, how it was to be 'racked' in the Tower of London. As the pain subsided, Simpers relaxed on discovering his bits were safe and sound. He was also content that despite a sensation of numbness, he had not suffered the penile extension some men paid good money for.
    After a minute or so, he felt able to get to his feet and arrange himself for public view. He wasn't sure which hurt more, his ankle, which still throbbed, or his genitals, which also throbbed.
    Only then did he notice the warning signs located around the bathroom, including one next to the button he had pressed.
    The toilets on board this ship work on a vacuum system. For your own comfort and safety, please do not flush the toilet while in a sitting position. Close the lid, then press the button marked 'flush.
    Relieved, Simpers exited the bathroom with the greatest of care and headed for the balcony. He slid aside the glass door and leant on the handrail. This also had the benefit of giving him the greatest of comfort in taking the weight off his sore ankle, and other parts.
    He observed the flurry of activity taking place on the dockside as various workers made the ship ready for sail. Simpers also noticed the Deputy Captain having an animated discussion with a second man. The unfortunate individual was on the wrong end of a tongue lashing from the agitated officer. Could this be the same man that had presented such a calm air of command as he escorted Simpers around the ship? Curious, he thought.
    Simpers' mental gymnastics was brought to an end on hearing a gentle knock on his cabin door. Limping across the room, he opened the door to reveal a smartly dressed young man of around twenty three.
    'Good afternoon, sir, I am Joki. I have come to look after you. I'm your cabin steward,' said the beaming young man.
    'Oh, yes, of course. Well, you'd better come in then,' was the best he could by way of a response as he returned to a more conscious state.
    'What a fascinating name,' offered Simpers.
    'Thank you, sir. It means 'He whom God has set up', or at least that is what my Mother says,' replied the steward with a ready smile.
    Simpers drifted off into an imaginary world. Had God sent his fixer to take a special interest in an undeserving copper?
    The detective noticed a tattooed crucifix on the steward's thumb as the young man handed over a copy of the ship's daily newsletter.
    'I am from Goa, in India, sir,' commented the steward as he noticed the interest Simpers had taken in his tattoo. 'It's the tradition of my faith where I live,' he continued.
    'Fascinating,' replied Simpers, trying not to sound patronising.
    'What time do you wish to awoken, sir,' continued Joki without breaking eye contact with the detective. 'Would you prefer tea or coffee with your biscuit?'
    'Well, erm, 7.00 am, please – and tea will be fine; any chance of a chocolate shortcake with it?' Simpers asked.
    'Of course, sir.'
    Simpers felt uncomfortable and couldn't help thinking he was reliving a scene from the days of the Raj. Then again, he knew that the steward would expect a tip at the prescribed rate per day before Simpers disembarked. After all, the cruise business did provide a great deal of employment, he thought. It seemed a fair business transaction for services rendered. At least that's how he preferred to rationalise the situation.
    'You are on second sitting for dinner, sir; table 33 in the Royal Restaurant, which commences at 8.30 pm. Tonight the dress code is 'casual'. You will hear an announcement over the ship's public address system confirming when the sitting is about to start. I hope that is satisfactory for you?'
    'Yes, thank you, Joki,' Simpers replied. He couldn't believe what he had just said.
    'Now, sir, let me help you unpack.'
    Before Simpers had time to react, the steward opened his suitcase, lifted out a charcoal lounge suit, and had it hung up in the wardrobe.
    'Please, there is no need for you to do that, I'm happy to do my own unpacking,' said