Double Fudge by Judy Blume Read Free Book Online Page A

notebook in case any of my teachers ever assigned a report on U.S. currency.
    "Fun Fact Number One," Rosie said. "The Bureau
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    of Printing and Engraving produces 37 million notes a day, worth about $696 million."
    Fudge raised his hand and asked, "Are notes the same as bucks?"
    Rosie told him they were. "They're called bills, dollars, bucks ..."
    Some guy shouted out, "How about moola?" A couple of people laughed. A few more groaned.
    "Well, yes," Rosie said. "I suppose some people refer to money as moola or even as dough."
    "How about green stuff?" Fudge shouted. "That's what my grandma calls it."
    This time almost everyone in our group laughed. Any minute I thought Fudge would take a bow. But Rosie kept checking her watch and asked the group to hold their questions and comments until she was finished running through all her Fun Facts. Then she led us through the metal detector. Fudge asked if we were getting on a plane. Rosie explained that we weren't, but because this is a federal building they had to make sure no one was carrying a weapon.
    "A weapon?" Fudge said, right before Dad set off the alarm. Nobody would have paid any attention except that Fudge shouted, "Dad! Are you carrying a weapon?" That got everyone's attention.
    "It's his belt buckle, Turkey Brain," I said.
    Rosie took a deep breath and checked her watch a
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    couple of times. She was still smiling but she didn't look that happy. She led us down a long hallway. We followed her single file through narrow corridors that twisted and turned. The old wooden floor squeaked under us. Every few minutes we'd stop in front of glass walls that looked down into rooms where we could see the green stuff in production. As the crowd pressed forward to the window wall, Fudge worked his way up front, wedging himself between people's legs if he had to, to get a better view. Then he waved to the workers in the rooms below. I heard him singing under his breath, "Oh, money, money, money... I love money, money, money ..."
    I couldn't believe my parents thought bringing him here was a good idea.
    We saw the green stuff as it was printed, cut, stacked, and counted. Toward the end of the tour Rosie invited Fudge to walk with her since he was so interested. "I love money!" he told her.
    "Well, you've come to the right place," Rosie said.
    "Want to see mine?" He pulled out a jumble of Fudge Bucks. "I make it myself. Pretty good, huh?"
    "Play money is fine," Rosie told him, "as long as you don't try to use it or pass it off as real because then you could get in big trouble."
    "Why?" Fudge asked.
    "Because that's the rule," Rosie said, firmly, which
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    shut him up until the end of the tour. That's when Rosie asked our group if anyone had any special questions. Fudge's hand shot up first. Rosie didn't look thrilled but she had no choice. She had to call on him.
    "I still need to find out how you get a lot of it all at once," Fudge said.
    "A lot of..." Rosie sounded confused.
    "Money!" Fudge shouted.
    Mom stepped in and tried to explain. "Fudge has become very curious about money," she told Rosie. "And we thought that by bringing him here ..."
    "I hear what you're saying," Rosie said to Mom. "But somebody has to set him straight."
    "I'll set him straight," a tall man with silver hair said. "First of all, young man, you need to get a good education. Then, when you're grown up, you need a good job. Then you save something from your salary every week. You invest carefully. You let your money work for you. And by the time you're my age, with luck, you'll have a nice little nest egg for your retirement."
    Our group applauded.
    But Fudge still wasn't satisfied. "Or else someone can just give it to you," he said.
    You could hear the tongues clucking and the whispers in the crowd. I heard someone say, "This kid is hopeless."
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    That's when Rosie announced that the next tour was about to begin and we could all proceed to the gift shop. "You're going to love the gift shop," she told Fudge.