Down to the Dirt by Joel Thomas Hynes Read Free Book Online Page B

prick out of myself so when it comes time to lay the blame, get to the root of the racket, it all seems to have started because she made a little joke or because I said she was mousy looking. I’ll be left lookin’ like an asshole again.
    I takes a few deep breaths to catch myself, knowin’ full well the only thing to be accomplished in retaliation is another racket. Maybe she is only jokin’. I don’t know. Besides, itsounds fun. I pictures myself in one of her dresses, maybe that skimpy little black one she wore at her aunt’s wedding. The way it clung to her breasts, the sunlight shinin’ through to her bare thighs. I gives her a little curtsy.
    —Why don’t I try one on then? We can take my picture. Send it in to the Buy-n-Sell.
    We’ve got the house to ourselves. Down in her bedroom in the basement. Fuckin’ around. Makin’ the best of one another’s company. Really connecting. She pulls the elastic from her ponytail and shakes her hair out. She’s so beautiful. Sometimes I loves her so much I feels like screamin’. But them moments are few and far between these days. Maybe it’s just a matter of communication? I knows she wasn’t with nobody the other night. I knows it. She just hates havin’ to answer to anyone. She likes to live in the moment, and I tends to resent that trait in anyone other than myself. I don’t know why I have to beat things to death all the time these days. I likes to party pretty hard myself.
    —See that?
    —What?
    —The room. It closes in on us when I breathes in and blows up again when I breathes out. Look. Ya see it?
    —Your face is meltin’, Keith. There’s nothing masculine about it anymore. It’s like there’s a woman underneath your skin tryin’ to free herself.
    —Fuck off, ‘Tash. Can’t we just—
    —No, no. I don’t mean it like that. She’s kinda cute lookin’.
    Natasha leans in to kiss me but pulls away at the last second before our lips would have touched. I digs through her closet and comes out with the dress I was thinkin’ about. Sheunbuttons my jeans, pulls ’em down around my ankles. Hauls my shirt up over my head. I takes the dress and tries to step into it, losin’ my balance and fallin’ onto the floor.
    —You can’t do it that way, b’y! You gotta pull it down around yourself. And be gentle.
    I yanks the dress on over my head. I gets the first arm out through the sleeve alright, but when I tries the second one my elbow catches and there’s not enough room to straighten it out. I forces it, hearin’ the dress rip somewhere. I pretends not to notice.
    —Don’t be such a savage, Keith. That’s a hundred-dollar dress for frig sakes.
    —I’ll sew it. Calm down, girl. I’ll sew it.
    —No, come on. Take it off. You’re gonna have it ruined. That’s my only good dress. It don’t even fit you.
    It is a bit tight around the shoulders, but I don’t want to take it off. So light and soft against my legs. I hooks my finger in the belt-loop of her jeans, pulling her down onto the bed. We tries to kiss for a bit but our mouths have gotten so dry that our tongues meet like sandpaper. Out of the corner of my eye I catches something shuffle, bendin’ in on itself and vanishing when I tries to focus on it. Some devil in the room. I bolts up straight.
    —See that?
    —Keith, shut up. You just don’t want to kiss me.
    —No, I do. It’s just that our mouths are so dry and I’m so stoned. It’s disgusting.
    —Oh, now I’m disgusting, am I? Well you should see yourself in that dress.
    I unbuttons her jeans and slides my hand down into them.
    —I’m on my period.
    I pulls my hand away like her jeans are on fire.
    —How come you never told me earlier?
    —I don’t know. Never knew I had to make a big announcement. We’ve done it before sure.
    We have done it before. A long time ago.
    There was a time between us that if one had the flu, the other wanted it. Anything that’s in you, I wants. That’s when it felt real, like there was