Dumb Clucks by R.L. Stine Read Free Book Online Page A

gym was already underway.
    My buddies and I crept up to the back doors of the gym. What did we plan to do?
    Crash the party.
    Crash the party with our chickens.
    Five dollars. That’s what it cost my friends to buy their very own chickens.
    A great price. What would you pay to ruin a Nyce House party? Any amount, right?
    So Bernie B. ended up with a drawer full of cashfor Parents’ Day snacks.
    And now, my Rotten House friends carried each of their chickens proudly. Hugging them tightly to their chests to keep them quiet.
    I pulled open the door to the gym. Loud, thumping music and a roar of voices poured out.
    Silently we carried our little surprises into the gym. This was a night the Drastic Duck dudes would never forget.
    A hundred squawking, flapping, pecking chickens could ruin any party.
    The war was about to be won. The Nyce House dudes would learn a new word tonight— defeat .
    Calm and quiet would be the rule from now on.
    And Headmaster Upchuck would thank me for a job well done.
    Hugging our chickens, we crept along the back wall of the gym. In the center of the floor, kids danced and joked and hung out.
    I gazed around at the decorations. Paintings of Drastic Duck on the walls. Streamers in Drastic Duck colors—gray and dark gray. Clusters of gray and dark gray Drastic Duck balloons.
    I waited for the right moment. The moment the music stopped.
    â€œOkay,” I said. And I raised my hand high. The signal to let the chickens go.
    With a cry of, “Stupid Chicken Rules!” my buddies tossed their chickens high into the air.
    Â 
    AWWWWWWWWK!
    SQUAWWWWWWWWK!
    Â 
    What a racket. The chickens squawked their heads off. And flapped furiously.
    Then they hit the floor, running in wild, crazy circles. Flapping their wings. Sliding on the gym floor.
    Â 
    AWWWWWWWWK!
    SQUAWWWWWWWWK!
    BLUUUUUUCK!
    Â 
    The flapping chickens scuttled toward the kids inthe center of the floor. Some kids cried out. They backed away.

    That’s when I saw the cages against the wall. A long row of gray cages.
    What were in those cages?
    I saw Sherman and his pals running to the cages. They were pulling open the cage doors.
    And I suddenly had a very bad feeling.
    How could I know that the Nyce House guys would bring a hundred ducks to their party?

Chapter 21
A T HANK -Y OU FROM THE H EADMASTER
    I guess the ducks were part of the decorations. Or maybe they were party favors.
    Anyway, it wasn’t good news.
    The ducks came honking out of their cages. They flapped their wings and snapped their bills. And zoomed straight at the squawking chickens.
    What can I say?
    Feathers flew.
    Kids backed against the four walls, staring in horror as a REAL war took place!
    Â 
    HONNNNNK! HONNNNNK!
    Â 
    SQUAWWWWWK!
    ULLLLP!
    Â 
    Those animals knew how to make a racket.
    Flapping and screeching and honking and squawking. Until even I had to hold my hands over my ears.
    I saw two ducks fly out the gym window. A chicken scrambled out the open door. Two more chickens followed.
    The animals were escaping onto the campus.
    And of course, that’s when Headmaster Upchuck decided to pay a visit to the party.
    Â 
    HONNNNNK!
    HONNNNNK!
    SQUAWWWWWK!
    Â 
    I waited for the look of horror on his face. He did turn bright red. But he wasn’t scowling or gasping or shrieking.

    He was GRINNING.
    â€œBernie, thank you! Thank you!” he cried. He stepped over a chicken and hurried up to me.
    â€œYou don’t have to thank me, sir,” I said.
    â€œOh, but I do!” said the Headmaster. His grin grew so wide, it covered his eyes! “Thank you for finally giving me a good reason to say bye-bye, Bernie!”
    â€œBut—but—”
    â€œYou’re outta here!” he screamed. “I knew you’d fail! I’m booting you out, Bernie! Out of this school! Oh, happy day! You’re going home!”
    And he did cartwheels from one end of the gym to the other.

Chapter 22
T HE S CHOOL I S R UINED