Dumb Clucks by R.L. Stine Read Free Book Online Page B

!
    â€œBut, sir—” I chased after him.
    Kids were screaming and running after the chickens and ducks. I saw Joe Sweety wrestling with two ducks. They had him pinned to the floor. But he was putting up a good fight.
    Across the floor, Beast grinned at me. He had chicken feathers stuck to his teeth.
    Uh-oh.
    Even Beast wouldn’t eat a live chicken—would he?
    Ducks flew out the windows. Kids struggled to catch chickens and shove them into the duck cages.
    I ran across the gym to Headmaster Upchuck. I knew I could talk my way out of this one, if he gave me a chance.
    I decided to play innocent. “Sir, I don’t understand what I did wrong.”
    He tossed back his bald head and laughed. “Wrong? Wrong? Do you remember the words CALM and QUIET? I gave you an assignment, Bernie. I didn’t ask you to turn my school into a petting zoo !”
    â€œI know, sir, but—”
    â€œLet me repeat. Your job was to keep this campus calm and quiet,” Upchuck continued. “And to raise money for the Parents’ Day refreshments tomorrow.”
    My mouth dropped open. “Excuse me? Tomorrow ?”
    Upchuck scowled. “When the parents get here tomorrow, they’ll think they’re in a BARNYARD!”
    â€œB-but, sir—” I sputtered.
    â€œThe school is RUINED!” Upchuck shrieked. “RUINED! And it’s all your fault, Bernie!”
    Most kids would feel bad after hearing an angry speech like that. Most kids would lower their heads in shame. Or maybe start to cry. Or beg the Headmaster for mercy.
    Not Bernie B. Not a Hall of Famer.
    I flashed Upchuck my best grin.
    â€œActually, sir,” I said, “I think you should congratulate me.”
    â€œHuh?” A chicken landed on his head. He batted it away.
    â€œYou should congratulate me for saving the school,” I told him. “Actually, you might call me a HERO!”
    Another chicken landed on him. I think they wanted to hatch his bald head!
    He batted the chicken away. “You? A hero?” he cried. “Look at this place! Look what you’ve done in time for Parents’ Day! You’re a disgrace! A DISGRACE! How can YOU be a hero?”
    My grin grew wider. “Sir,” I said, “I forgot to mail out the invitations!”

About the Author
    R.L. Stine graduated from Rotten School with a solid D+ average, which put him at the top of his class. He says that his favorite activities at school were Scratching Body Parts and Making Armpit Noises.
    In sixth grade, R.L. won the school Athletic Award for his performance in the Wedgie Championships. Unfortunately, after the tournament, his underpants had to be surgically removed.
    After graduation, R.L. became well known for writing scary book series such as The Nightmare Room, Fear Street, Goosebumps, and Mostly Ghostly, and a short story collection called Beware!
    Today, R.L. lives in New York City, where he is busy writing stories about his school days.
    For more information about R.L. Stine, go to www.rottenschool.com and www.rlstine.com
    Visit www.AuthorTracker.com for exclusive information on your favorite HarperCollins author.

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    #5. Shake, Rattle, & Hurl!
    #6. The Heinie Prize
    #7. Dudes, The School Is Haunted!
    #8. The Teacher from Heck
    #9. Party Poopers
    #10. The Rottenest Angel
    #11. Punk’d and Skunked
    #12. Battle of the Dum Diddys
    #13. Got Cake?
    #14. Night of the Creepy Things
    #15. Calling All Birdbrains

Copyright
    ROTTEN SCHOOL #16: DUMB CLUCKS . Copyright © 2007 by Parachute Publishing, L.L.C. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may