e by Matt Beaumont Read Free Book Online

the fix we’re in, I think we should all be there.
    I’m sure you will make your thoughts on this clear to me upon your return.
Rachel Stevenson – 1/4/00, 5:05pm
to:
Susi Judge-Davis
cc:
 
re:
behaviour unbecoming of a professional establishment
    Susi, I’ve spoken to Zoë. She’s very upset, obviously by Carla’s attack, but also by your e-mail. In the future I’d prefer you not to take these matters up without first speaking with me.
    Zoë assures me that Carla’s outburst was completely unprovoked, and eyewitnesses bear this out. Given that Carla has now left and that Zoë is extremely traumatised, I think it best that we allow things to settle and try to forget the whole incident. Zoë will take up the position of David’s PA as of Monday.
Liam O’Keefe – 1/4/00, 5:15pm
to:
Brett Topowlski
cc:
 
re:
steaming pile of shit
    Harriet briefed us to carry on with Mako, and while she was at it she showed us Horne’s latest. All he’s done is take his L&L stuff and rewrite it for . . . drum roll . . . R&M. (Recognise the casting?) The scripts are as witty as a tax return. Wake Vin and come and see them in five. Pinki’s going to see Perky (her clairvoyant).
Daniel Westbrooke – 1/4/00, 5:33pm
to:
Simon Horne
cc:
 
bcc:
David Crutton
re:
concerns
    Simon, I have to say I am a little worried. I know you have been preoccupied with Mako of late, but I hope your department is not neglecting Coca-Cola. I am sure you appreciate that the eyes of the network are upon us, and winning this pitch would make Mako seem very small beer indeed.
Simon Horne – 1/4/00, 5:52pm
to:
David Crutton
cc:
 
re:
needless hassle
    I have come back from a very delicate meeting at the Groucho with Quentin Tarantino’s British agent.
    I feel
il Maestro di Pulp
is very close to agreeing to shoot our Kimbelle commercials provided we have a sufficiently high body count.
    The kudos we would reap from this is incalculable.
    I should be returning to a well-earned pat on the back.
    Instead I find demented e-mails from both Harriet and Daniel on my laptop.
    My loyalty to Harriet is wearing thin. Why should I defend her increasingly flaky behaviour if she deals behind my back in this way?
    Her sniping at my new Mako work does, of course, gall.
    But this must be our recommendation to the client. We cannot risk making ourselves look weak and uncertain by presenting more than one campaign.
    Having said that, I can live with another team continuing to look at the brief. It is pretty unlikely that they will best my campaign.
    If they do, you know that I will be the first out of his seat to lead the ovation.
    As for Daniel, his fears that we will not deliver on Coke are, frankly, hysterical.
    Perhaps you should remind him that I was in the same room as the legendary John Webster when he came up with the “lipsmackin, thirstquenchin . . .” ad for Pepsi.
    Furthermore, was it not
I
who created “Mr. Ffffizzzzzy,” the zany animated bubble, for Fun Pops in 1982?
    What I do not know about advertising carbonated drinks to British teenagers is not worth knowing.
    Si
Simon Horne – 1/4/00, 6:02pm
to:
Susi Judge-Davis
cc:
 
re:
tense, nervous headache
    What a day, darling! Be an angel and book me a cab to Bibendum in thirty minutes.
    Then a couple of Nurofen and a shoulder-rub would not go amiss.
Susi Judge-Davis – 1/4/00, 6:04pm
to:
Simon Horne
cc:
 
re:
tense, nervous headache
    Cab’s ordered, darling, and I’m warming up my hands. Sparkling or still with the tablets? Sx
Melinda Sheridan – 1/4/00, 6:23pm
to:
Simon Horne
cc:
 
re:
Worried of Television
    I’ve just bumped into David in the corridor and he congratulated me on being so close to finalising a deal with Quentin T. for Kimbelle Super Dri. When I pleaded ignorance, he told me there was no need to be so coy and that he knew negotiations were at an advanced stage.
    Alarm bells are ring-a-ding-dinging. While I must say that
“Pulp Fiction
meets the super-absorbent panty pad” is