End Game by Tabatha Wenzel Read Free Book Online Page B

Hannah. I know
that I deserve you questioning it. I mean, we left with her. My mom
and dad didn’t try to help you, and I am so fucking sorry about
that Hannah. They have a shitty marriage, and pretty much can’t
stand each other, so they were selfish and dealing with their own
shit.”
    “I had no idea Ray. I always thought they had
it all,” I told her, trying desperately to clean up my face before
Zane shows up.
    “Guess we all hide stuff from people, even
the people we love,” Rayanne told me as she hugged me.
    “I guess so, huh. Its nice talking to you
about real stuff Ray,” I tell her.
    It’s true when I really think about our life
together; we never shared. I mean, we shared, but not the real
stuff and not the things that make people who they are. The
superficial stuff we had covered.
    “It is nice. Can we promise to do it from now
on? I know that it won’t be easy. I know old habits die hard, but
we have to try, okay?”
    “You got it bitch,” I say laughing.
    Rayanne starts laughing too and we must have
looked like two crazy people, hugging and crying on a park bench.
It was one of the happiest moments I had ever really had with
Rayanne. I wasn’t pretending anymore. I always pretended to be
better than I was. I don’t want to pretend anymore. I want to just
be better.
    After a couple minutes we got ourselves
together and both helped each other fix our make-up. I started to
stand up but Rayanne stops me.
    “Can I ask you how it went with the
therapist? If you want to keep that to yourself, Hannah, I
completely understand.”
    “No, I can tell you how it went. It was okay,
I guess. Felt really weird talking to someone about my mom, and
stuff that isn’t even about her. I mean, I have only been once, so
I don’t have any great answers or anything. I guess the talking
about it is supposed to help.”
    What I don’t tell Rayanne is that I talked
about her and our relationship today also. I also talked about Zane
and what he did to me. My therapist also let know that I would have
assignments. I don’t know what they are yet, and I really don’t
want to know.
    “I truly believe that it will help, Hannah,”
Rayanne tells me, just as we see Zane walking up the sidewalk.
    I immediately feel my heart start to race and
butterflies in my stomach. How can I still have this kind of
reaction when I see him? With everything that has happened between
us, I need to let these feelings go.
    I turn towards Rayanne and grab her arm,
“Please, Rayanne, don’t say anything to him about anything that we
have talked about. The last thing I need or want is him knowing
about any of this.”
    “Don’t worry, Hannah. I won’t say anything to
him. Just know this…I know what he wants to tell you, and believe
me when I say you have learn to trust him again. I won’t say
anything more because it is his story to tell.”
    I don’t know how to take what she just told
me. What the hell does Zane have to tell me? I am so confused at
this moment. I don’t know if learning to trust him is as important
as me trying to stop loving him at this point. Because, sad but
true, I know deep down that if I still love him right now, then I
also trust him. You can’t truly love someone if you don’t trust
them.
    Watching Zane walk towards me, at this
moment, with the butterflies and excitement I feel just by seeing
him, tell me it is love. That isn’t even with the feelings I get
just from talking to him or being around him. I feel like me when I
am with him, and he makes me feel like I can be a better me. That
may sound so stupid but it’s my truth. He makes me feel like,
maybe, I can be stronger and braver. Boy, do I wish I wasn’t so
pathetic. I don’t want him to make me feel that way, because I want
me to make myself feel that way.
    Boy, do I wish I wasn’t so pathetic.

Chapter Nine
    Rayanne and I walk to meet up with Zane. The first
thing I notice is that he is walking with some other guy. Great, I
hope this guy