associates, and if the police’s
suspicions are correct, I’m not going to like confirming he’s involved in
criminal activities. I want my stepbrother back but if he comes with a whole
lot of baggage, can I find the strength to drag him out? Will he even let me?
He’s been reluctant so far.
In
the late afternoon I get a call from John, the P.I. who confirms Brandon’s
address and that his known associates are indeed part of an organization
involved in criminal activities. My heart sinks. He also tells me that Brandon
hangs out at a bar called Jackson’s, downtown. I don’t know it but use Google
to find the address. I thank John for the information and hang up, wondering
what to do next.
Turning
up on his doorstep feels like a step too far. I’m traditional that way. A
person has to invite me into their home before I’ll step foot over the
threshold. I think about the bar and I know I can’t go in there either. He’d
be mad as hell if he finds me willingly putting myself in danger. But I could
drive and park outside. I could wait in the safety of my own car until I see
him. I can try my best to find the words that might convince him that he
doesn’t have to choose one part of his life over another. We’re family, sort
of. There’s no reason for us to not see each other. We could meet somewhere
neutral, away from the restrictions in both our lives.
So
I get into my car, convinced of the sanity of my plan. I drive downtown and
park up across the street from Jackson’s. It’s as shabby as I expected, and
the customers look like they’ve all passed through the justice system at one
time or another. Tattoos seem to be a uniform for Jackson’s patrons.
The
first half hour that I wait, I watch the door like a hawk, but time passes so
slowly. I pull out my phone and reply to a few messages, read a little on my
book, eyes flicking up regularly so I don’t miss anything. I must be too
engrossed in reading because I almost jump out of my skin when there is a thump
on my window. I glance up and Brandon’s there, looking down at me with fierce
eyes and a jaw that’s so tight I see it tick. Oh god, he’s really mad with
me. I press the button for the window and get hit with the delicious scent of
him, freshly showered. Even angry he looks so good my heart seems to roll in
my chest. He rests a thick forearm on the now open window ledge and leans in.
“What
are you doing here, Sammie? How did you find me?”
I
feel heat rising up my cheeks and chest at the embarrassment of having stalked
him. His eyes follow my blush until they rest on the skin above my breasts,
just for a second. Then he shakes his head and looks into my eyes.
“You
paid someone to find me?” he asks.
I
nod.
“Why
would you do that when I told you to stay away? Why would you want to get
involved in this?” Brandon gestures towards Jackson’s and I look down at my
knees. Maybe he’s right.
Maybe
this is a terrible mistake but I feel like I had no choice. I want him back in
my life.
“I
wanted to see you again,” I say, feeling pathetic until I hear him sigh softly,
and I know I wasn’t wrong to try.
“So
now you’ve seen me…” He trails off as though he doesn’t know what else to say
and I don’t either. What I want doesn’t involve words but physical touch. I
want him next to me, throwing his big muscular arm around my shoulders and
pulling me against his strong body. I want him to tousle my hair like he used
to. I want to share my secrets with him again. I reach out and rest my hand
on his forearm and he looks down at where our skin is in contact as if he can’t
understand how something so simple can feel so good, so right.
“Tell
me you don’t feel that,” I say, so quietly it’s barely a whisper.
“Sammie…”
“I
never stopped thinking about you,” I say. “Things would remind me of you, a
song or a smell or something