Ex-Factor (Diamond Girls) by Elisa Dane Read Free Book Online

down the narrow trampoline. My movements felt lithe and fluid, years of training and muscle memory guiding me through the familiar trick. I landed the small pass near the end of the track, and the force of my rebound sent me sailing backward into the soft, cushiony pit.
    “All right, Nev,” I heard Livvie shout. “That was awesome!”
    Her unbridled encouragement felt incredible, and the sense of pride I’d always felt when my mother used to champion me surged through my system. I’d been so sure I’d never experience that overwhelming sense of satisfaction again.
    Overcome, I lay sprawled out in the pit for a moment, the ever-present guilt I harbored over my father’s death and the constant ache I felt toward my mother doing their level best to squash the brief moment of happiness I’d just experienced.
    Dr. Frank, my therapist, insisted I deserved to be happy, to feel joy. Even after everything that had happened. I wasn’t sure I agreed with her.
    Pushing back the long strand of hair that had fallen out of my ponytail and into my eyes, I sighed. Holding on to the past, dwelling on things I could have done differently, things I should have done differently, wouldn’t change a thing. Fate was a stubborn son-of-a-bitch, and it got what it wanted, no matter what.
    My chest constricted, the hollow pang of loss niggling at the base of my gut as it always did, tugging at my heart and mind. I missed my dad. There was so much I wanted to tell him, so much to apologize for.
    So many regrets.
    Relinquishing my guilt and opening myself up to happiness felt wrong on a multitude of levels, but if I was going to have any kind of life, I knew I needed to learn how to let go. At least, that’s what Dr. Frank kept telling me over and over again. Heartsick and torn, I hefted myself into a sitting position and took a deep breath.
    Livvie had ambled down the narrow tramp during my “moment” and stood over me, grinning like a Cheshire cat. She bent down and grabbed my wrist. “That rebound was insane! Get up. Try a layout next.”
    The following hour passed by quickly, and before I knew it, it was time for me to meet with the coaches. Tryouts normally took place in April, when the cheer season began, but the occasional late entry was accepted if a team lost an athlete due to injury, illness, or financial hardship. X-Factor’s Diamond team had lost a valuable member when one of their girls broke her leg during a tumbling pass a few weeks ago. The coaches had yet to fill her space, and from what Livvie had told me, with the start of competition season a few short weeks away, they were banking on my tumbling experience to meet their needs.
    Face flushed, palms sweating, I strolled across the spring floor, the blue, fuzzy mat scraping against my bare feet as I came to a stop in front of Coach Shea and two other women.
    The blond pixie I’d seen coaching the Junior Three team stepped forward and extended her hand. “Hi, Nev. I’m Coach Lily.” Her firm grip felt cool against my overheated skin. She released my hand and gestured to the woman standing opposite Coach Shea. “And this is Coach Jordan.”
    The woman smiled, revealing a brilliant set of teeth and a dimple on her left cheek. Twenty years old if a day, she sported the darkest tan and biggest green eyes I’d ever seen, and reminded me at once of Malibu Barbie. She gave me a friendly wave. “Hi, Nev. Nice to meet you.”
    Lily pulled a pen from the top of the clipboard she held, scrawled something on the piece of paper attached, and then regarded me with an expectant smile. “Okay, then. Why don’t we start with standing tumbling? Go ahead and show me your standing two to a layout.”
     
    ***
     
    Hair still wet from my shower, muscles aching and slightly rubbery from exertion, I turned off the light and fell into bed with a groan, dreading the soreness I was sure to feel in the morning. My evening at the gym had gone a thousand times better than I had anticipated, but