Everything is Changed by Nova Weetman Read Free Book Online

stained by Alex. He was there first.
    â€˜What did your dad do?’ she says as she fits an elastic band around the tiniest bunch of hair without opening her eyes.
    I don’t want to talk about this. Not to her. Not to anyone. I don’t even talk about it with myself. I’m quiet for the longest time and so is she. I know she’s waiting for me to tell her. If she was like everyone else she would have spewed out an apology and moved on. But Ellie isn’t like anyone else.
    She pulls out her hair elastic and flattens the little bundle. I want to fix the strand that is sticking up, but my fingers are frozen to their metal bed.
    â€˜He did some bad stuff,’ I say, causing her hands to stop moving.
    â€˜Oh.’
    â€˜Yep.’
    â€˜Do you see him?’
    â€˜No. He’s in Queensland. But I didn’t see him much before. He’d already left us.’ I try to never talk about my father. When it first happened, when he went away, I told Alex because I had to. But I don’t like thinking about it now.
    â€˜When does he get out?’
    I shrug. ‘I don’t know. We don’t have any contact.’
    â€˜Are you angry about it?’
    â€˜No. But I worry …’
    She jumps on my words. ‘What? That you’ll end up like him?’
    I wasn’t going to say that. I was going to say that I worry about my mum, but now that Ellie’s said it, I realise that’s exactly what I’m worried about. That no matter what I do, his badness is in my genes, and I can’t outrun it anymore. I don’t answer her.
    â€˜Wow, that’s pretty honest.’
    Her fingers touch my arm and I shudder.
    â€˜Not really,’ I say, wishing we could change the subject.
    â€˜You aren’t going to end up like your dad. No way.’
    I feel a rush of energy in my body. If only she knew that I already am.
    â€˜Your mum’s done a good job then, on her own,’ she says quietly, as she turns slowly onto her side and opens her eyes, just as I look at her. My face floods with heat and I look away.
    â€˜Come back to school, Jake,’ she says. ‘Please. It’s boring without you around pinching my food. Lucas and Tien are no substitute. I need my friend back.’
    Friend. I force a small smile in the dark. I don’t want to be friends. ‘I haven’t left. Not officially. Not yet anyway.’
    â€˜So come back. You could catch up. I could help you,’ she says softly, making me hope that she really cares.
    It’s so possible. I could go back. Finish the year. Make Mum happy. I could.
    â€˜Have you seen the psych yet?’
    â€˜How do you know about that?’
    She shrugs. ‘You know. Things get around.’
    â€˜Tomorrow. I don’t want to, but Mum’s making me.’
    â€˜Well, I bet she wouldn’t make you if you came back to school. Started doing all your homework and proving you were serious about it. Please?’
    I start to nod without thinking about what I’m doing. Ellie squeals and then grabs me. It’s awkward because I’m lying on my back and she’s on her side and I can feel her body and I reach to grab her back and then she starts to pull away, but by then my mouth is near hers and I’m kissing her.
    And it’s beautiful.
    Her lips are wet and soft and sweet and her mouth tastes like chips and salt and I can feel her tongue and it’s everything I knew it would be. And then just as quickly, she’s gone. The kiss is done. Over. Finished. And she’s sitting up and I don’t know what just went wrong.
    I can’t look at her. The moment’s gone.
    â€˜Jake …’ she says, one word hanging in the night. And she doesn’t need to say anything else. She doesn’t need to explain that Alex came first. That Alex is here, between us, unseen but looming. I know it too.
    â€˜Jake …’ she says again, and this time her fingertips brush my