Everything is Changed by Nova Weetman Read Free Book Online Page B

it. I hope they’re not for me.
    â€˜Take a seat, Jake,’ he says, pointing to a proper chair.
    â€˜I thought you were going to put me over there,’ I say, laughing.
    â€˜No. You’re a bit big for that,’ he says without any humour.
    I sit down opposite him, my stomach full of nerves, and my pits clogged with sweat.
    â€˜I’m Matthew,’ he says, looking at me intently. His eyes are dark chocolate brown, like Alex’s. ‘Just to get a few things cleared before we start, these sessions are confidential, unless I feel that you’re a danger to yourself or others. I want you to feel like you can tell me anything. Okay?’
    I want to laugh and shout, I’m a teenager, dickhead. We don’t talk about stuff to strangers, okay? Instead, I nod.
    â€˜So you’ve been dodging school.’
    â€˜Yeah.’
    â€˜Can you tell me why?’
    I shrug.
    â€˜From what your principal said, you’ve been a good student. Why the change?’
    I shrug again and look around the room to try and find a clock. I want to know how many minutes I have left.
    â€˜Are you bored?’
    I shrug. And this time he scribbles something on a pad.
    â€˜Do you intend to go back to school, Jake?’
    â€˜Dunno.’
    â€˜Thing is, it won’t be your choice for much longer. They’ll expel you.’
    Even though I know it’s true, his words hit me in the gut so hard I can barely breathe.
    â€˜Do you want to be expelled?’
    â€˜Oh yeah, it’s my dream,’ I say, because I can’t stand how stupid this all is.
    â€˜Let’s try to limit the sarcasm.’
    â€˜Yeah. Why don’t we?’ I look back at him, chopping his face into pieces with my eyes. How did I get to this?
    â€˜If you don’t want to talk to me, Jake, then there really is no point to you being here.’
    â€˜Agreed,’ I say, hating myself for sounding like this.
    â€˜Okay, well, we’re done. Thanks for coming in.’
    He stands up. He actually stands up like he’s going to walk me to the door. I refuse to move. He knows he has me trapped. I’ve got nowhere to go.
    â€˜I can’t help you, Jake, if you won’t talk.’
    But I can’t talk to him. And the only person I can talk to doesn’t want to talk to me. I feel like I’m going to throw up. Everything’s surging through me. I stand up so quickly the chair tips backwards and hits the ground.
    â€˜You’re right. You can’t help me.’
    I’m out of there before he’s even made it around the desk. I don’t care anymore. There’s no point to any of this. There’s no Alex. There’s no Ellie. There’s no hope.

alex
    At a party last night I hooked up with a girl who looks like every other girl I’ve been set up with in the last few weeks. Tone keeps trying to find me a suitable girlfriend because I let slip that Ellie and I have split. He assumed I’d dumped her. I didn’t correct him. The more I do things like that, let people think one thing when the truth is something different, the closer I am to being a person I don’t like much. While Jake’s patrolling for the truth, on the hunt for his own rescue, his own guilt mission, I’m sinking into myself, softened up by all the fancy gyms, rowing machines, and promises of being better. I’m buying the dream.
    I remember the day I realised Jake wasn’t like me. Up until then I’d always figured we were the same, because we got on so well. But that afternoon, Mum baked a cake. She’d never bake a cake now, but back then she still liked making things. It was a disgusting cake, but I pretended to like it because that’s just what I did. But Jake took one mouthful and screwed up his face. Mum asked him if he liked it and he told her straight up that it was horrible. I’m sure she thought he was being rude, but he wasn’t. He was just being honest.
    I