Ex-Factor (Diamond Girls) by Elisa Dane Read Free Book Online Page A

it didn’t change the fact that I was woefully out of shape. The next two weeks were going to be hell.
    The sound of rustling sheets carried across the quiet room, and I sensed a pair of eyes watching me.
    “So, what do you think?” Livvie asked.
    “About what?” Her question was too vague. My mind was racing, filled to bursting with a hundred different things. I’d taken a huge leap tonight, stepping foot onto a blue mat again. Would I be able to do it—train and tumble for two hours a day, three days a week—without breaking down, freaking out? There was still so much I needed to overcome, so much I had to live down.
    My chest constricted. Would I survive my life at Grant High? Would I make real friends this time? Friends who wouldn’t suck me into a vortex of shame and regret?
    An exasperated groan carried across the room. “You’re killing me, Nev. Tonight. What do you think about tonight? About the gym?”
    “Well, I joined, didn’t I? What does that tell you?” I was being evasive. I knew it. My mind and body were so tired. I couldn’t drum up the energy to weed through all the thoughts and emotions coursing through me.
    “That tells me nothing. Jeez, Nev. Throw me a bone here.”
    “Sorry,” I said, exhaling. “I’m just super tired.” I rolled onto my side and sucked in a quick breath. The light from the alarm clock on Livvie’s nightstand cast a light blue glow over the darkened room, allowing me to just make out the set of eyes staring at me. “I’m not gonna lie to you. Tonight was hard for me.”
    “Hard how?”
    I drew my knees up toward my chest and shoved a hand beneath my pillow in an effort to get comfortable. “I don’t know. It was just hard. Being in the gym. Feeling the rush, the adrenaline. I kinda felt guilty for, you know, being happy while I tumbled.”
    “Nev…” More rustling filled the darkened space and I watched as Livvie pushed up onto her elbow. “I can’t say I’ll ever understand what you’re going through as I haven’t lost anyone close to me. My dad walked out on my mom when I was a baby, and I don’t remember him. I don’t know him. I don’t miss him.” She paused for a moment and sighed. “But, what I do know is that you are an amazing person. A person who deserves to be happy. Accept the good when it comes your way and quit beating yourself up over it.”
    Silent tears trickled down my cheeks, staining my pillow, and though I’d never been a fan of the dark, I was thankful for its presence in the room. With a sigh, Livvie sank back down, and I rolled onto my other side and drew the covers up over my head. My cousin meant well. And what she said made sense. Thing was, she didn’t know everything. If she did, she’d be singing a different tune. She’d hate me as much as I hated myself.

Chapter Five
     
    Status update: No time for a Strbux run. Dying…
    Coffee. I needed coffee. An intravenous drip of caffeinated goodness to help get me through the day. It had taken an inordinate amount of persuasion to pull me from the warm cocoon of my bed this morning. Tired, both mentally and physically, I’d curled up in a ball, refusing to move until my aunt Trish finally resorted to yanking the covers off and forcibly moving me from my safe haven.
    Begrudgingly, and with a great deal of protest, I dressed in a pair of dark blue denim capris and a flowing peach top that would have looked one hundred times better if only I’d had a tan. I’d stumbled into the bathroom, horror stricken by the frizzy state of my air-dried hair, and spent a good forty-five minutes straightening the long, layered locks into submission. There were few things in my life I could control, my appearance being one of them. I might have been messed up and falling apart on the inside, but by God, I’d look good while I withered.
    My excessive primping resulted in a manic Aunt Trish, an aggravated Livvie, and a breakfast that consisted of a single piece of dry toast as we fled the