Eyeheart Everything by Kevin Sampsell, Mykle Hansen, Ed Stastny, Kevin Kirkbride Read Free Book Online

nutritional value. I suspect the confusion here is that this creature is a “Katz,” perhaps some bizarre Australian offshoot from the evolutionary tree of the common housecat, with entirely foreign dietary needs, and what I suspected as mere post-literacy on the part of your writing staff was actually a subtle but important distinction overlooked by the stock clerks at my local market. I should be relieved to know if this is true, and out of curiosity and ignorance, what other toxins is this creature able to absorb, and could one cohabit with humans? I’ve considered procuring a goat to clear out the blown waste that collects in my yard. Perhaps a Katz would be less obtrusive, and also able to dispose of this mistakenly purchased bag of Alley Katz Katz Food (tofu double liver flavor), which my garbagemen refuse to collect for fear of being fined.
    Inquisitively yours, E. Tarantula.

    Dear Alley Katz Katz Food Kreators: Your Krispy Kroutons of Krunchy Katzfood Kause my Katz to Kough up Krust! Klearly I am Koncerned! If you Kontinue to Klaim that Katz, or any Kreatures, Krave this Krud you Kall Katfood, you risk being Kalled in by the Kops and the ASPKA on Kharges of Kruelty!
    no Kidding! E.T.

    Dear Sirs: ever since I tried to feed your food to my cat Splotch, she has denied me affection, companionship, and even the smallest of courtesies. Normally carefree and energetic, she now paces absently from room to room, or merely gazes out the window, her eyes betraying not the slightest awareness of her surroundings. Sometimes in the night she cries out in long, baleful meows as if recoiling from a memory too terrible for her little kitty brain to encompass.
    For how many weeks is this behavior considered normal?

I Saw This Movie

    I saw this movie where the plot was: everything catches on fire and starts to explode. Then it continues to explode, in a series of increasingly huge explosions, until eventually mountains are exploding, and then the earth explodes and then the sun explodes. It had George Clooney and Gwyneth Paltrow in it. I hear they’re already working on a sequel. Speaking of sequels, there’s this one I saw the trailer for called Twisterconda, where this gigantic computer-generated anaconda starts threatening the inhabitants of this 20-story condominium out on the prairie in North Dakota, and then this gigantic computer-generated twister tornado comes speeding towards the same building, and then the twister and the anaconda sort of duke it out in a big final fight scene. It’s got Leonardo DiCaprio and Pierce Brosnan and Gwyneth Paltrow, it ought to be pretty good. I also saw a trailer for this movie called The Odd Couple, and I guess it’s based on some old TV show where there’s this space station orbiting the earth that gets infiltrated by hideous space-anacondas and these two guys who live in the space station have to save the earth, and there’s a hull breach, and some laser gunfights, and also I guess there’s this subplot that they really hate each other. It’s got George Clooney and Bruce Willis in it, and one of the space anacondas is played by Gwyneth Paltrow. I’m looking forward to that one. I also read in Entertainment Preview that there’s some movie coming up that’s got Bruce Willis, Gwyneth Paltrow, Willie Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Sissy Spacek, Jack Nicholson and Cher in it. That ought to be pretty good. It’s about some disease that makes people bleed out of their anuses and die really disgustingly. I think it’s called Fasciitis: Final Conflict but I’m not sure how that’s pronounced, “fasciitis.” And there’s this Arnold Schwartzenegger movie I heard is almost done, where Arnold Schwartzenegger plays the President of the United States, and these alien monsters who disguise themselves as Arabs sneak into the White House and take everybody hostage, and start running the country, and I guess they do a bad job or something because then the President, who’s trapped in the Oval