FALL (The Senses) by Cindy Paterson Read Free Book Online Page A

further forward, the emotions bombarded her and her body started to
shake. She was about to turn and run when the physical touch of Jedrik’s arms
came around her trembling waist, dragging her into the warmth of his skin.
    “Shhh,
Sass.” Jedrik held her close to him, whispering words she blocked from her mind
as she thought of another man’s arms. Another scent and voice. “I’m not letting
you go this time.” He lowered his tone, his words strong and fierce. “He’s
gone, Delara. But you’re not. Find the strength to live with his memory.”
    A scream
wrenched from her parched throat. She didn’t recognize the horrific voice and
it no longer mattered. The jerking sobs came uncontrollably as she pulled from
her abyss. Jedrik rocked her in his arms, his hand caressing her hair like a
mother would do for her child. She fought his comfort, the heat of his body.
She fought until her arms failed to rise and finally she lay limp in his
unrelenting embrace.
    “I’m
staying here until you can face the world again. It’s been long enough, Sass.
Waleron would not be happy if he knew you suffered like this. He loved you
lass, but I love you too and I’m not letting you go.”
    She
tensed at the sound of Waleron’s name, the tears falling faster, her heart
shredding a little bit more. “I can’t. I can’t let him go. It’s like a knife is
stabbing my insides and I can’t stop it.” She hiccupped on her tears. “It’s
like he...he’s still with me. I feel like he is alive inside me and... Jedrik,
I don’t know how to live without him.”
    Jedrik
kissed her cheek. “And I can’t live without my best friend.” Stroking her hair
with his palm, he said, “I love you too lass. Frig Delara, you’re my family, my
kin.”
    Those
words awakened something, a jolt. Maybe not that strong. A fizzle of stirring
in her blood. Jedrik was her kin, if not by blood by friendship, the only kin
she had now. And she wanted to feel needed, too, because the pain was so deep
that the only person alive to make her want to open her eyes was Jedrik.
    “I miss
him. I miss him so much.”
    Jedrik
lay spooned behind her. “I know, lass,” he murmured. “And I would do anything
to bring him back for you, but I can’t, so we do what he wanted us to do—live
and protect.”
    The sobs
choked her.
    “You
have to cease believing he’s alive. You have to let him go.” He lowered his
voice to a warm, soothing purr. “Cry, Sass. Cry until you let him go. If it
takes a day, two days, another friggin’ month so be it. We will stay here until
you’re finished crying.” He found her hand under the blanket and gave it a
squeeze. “I’m not leaving you this time. You can rant and rave and hit me all
you want, I will stay until we leave this room—”
    “Jedrik?”
    “Ay,
lass?”
    “Thanks.”
    “Don’t
say thanks yet. I haven’t started complaining about your smell.”
    She
choked on a half laugh and tightened her grip on him. She felt someone else
inside her, a man, a voice, but she couldn’t distinguish who he was. What she
did know was that he was a reassurance. A comfort to her despair.
     
    ****
     
    Five
showers, four meals, and three days later Delara released Jedrik, and herself,
from prison. She loathed facing life, but it helped that Jedrik was by her side
and he’d already said if she went into hiding again, he’d go with her. And she
suspected Xamien, the man who she now knew had so intimately helped her crawl
back from despair, would come to.
    Before Xamien
Traced to Spain, he’d contacted her. “You ever need me, I’ll be there.
You’re always welcome in Spain, Delara.” She never responded, but she felt
his sincerity. They’d shared a link through mindweaving, and his connection to
her would last a lifetime.
    The pain
lived on and it hurt so much at times that she ran to the bathroom and retched
her guts out. Hopelessness was a desolate emotion that grabbed hold and refused
to let go. Nevertheless, she’d