Fifty Shades Effed by Phil Torcivia Read Free Book Online

their artistic qualities,” she responds while showing me an action photo on the camera.
    “Nice.”
    “We need about a dozen more good ones for the yearbook.”
    “Great. I’m going to need a thicker glove.”
    As I head back behind the plate, Bea is sitting in the stands smiling at me.
    “How are you holding up?”
    “I’m fine.”
    “Could be worse. You could have a son throwing in the nineties.”
    “Good point and, just so you know, I’m not opposed to having another go at my little Pippino.”
    “That will be up to your daughters. Better start working on them now.”
    “Grandson Pippino. Perfecto! ”
    I put the catcher’s mask on and squat.
    “OK, baby doll. Let her fly.”
    “Pop?”
    “Yes.”
    *BZZZT*
    “I’ve been kind of seeing someone, and he asked if I’d go to the Senior Prom with him.”
    “You’ve been seeing him or seeing him?”
    “Ugh. You know.”
    “No, and I’m not sure I want to.”
    “Whatever.”
    *SSSNAP*
    “Anyway, he’s a nice guy. He plays baseball.”
    “All right, that’s one good thing.”
    “He got accepted to Stanford.”
    “Two. Does he treat you like a lady?”
    “Of course. In fact just yesterday he gave me a romantic gift.”
    “Flowers?”
    “No, a butt plug,” she winks.
    *FFFFFT, BOINK, CRACK* ... sinkerball, square in the nuts.
     

Accolades for Fifty Shades Effed
     
    “Funny and enjoyable. I highly recommend it to everyone.” – Gina
    “Entertaining and utterly unbelievable.” – Cherie
    “Hilariously entertaining!” – Ailin
    “This book has the most important things I look for in a book, the 3 S’s: Steamy, Sexy, & Scary!” – SHW
    “He did not just go there ... oh yes, he did!” – Shannon
    “Totally raunchy. Laughed until I wheezed.” – Paula
    “Very well written. I highly recommend this book to anyone looking for sexy, funny, page-turner!” – TD
    “Hilariously witty. I guarantee laughter throughout the entire narrative.” – Bonnie
    “Enjoyed it immensely.” – Dolores (Phil’s mother)