Finding Me Again by Amber Garza Read Free Book Online Page B

leaves. I’ve told her my story. Now she needs to process it. Long after she heads inside I stay seated on the grass, mulling over what she said. The more I think on it, the worse I feel. Hadley’s right. I should’ve let her decide. Maybe if I had, things would’ve turned out better for all of us.

 
     
    Thirteen
    Hadley
     
    “Wow, that’s crazy.” Paige sits across from me at the coffee shop holding a mug in her hands.
    “I know.” I stare down at my own cup of coffee, my stomach in knots. Conversations swirl around us from other tables, and an espresso machine roars to life behind me. The aromatic scent of coffee beans fills the air.
    “So, he was just trying to protect you.”
    My head snaps up at her words. “But he didn’t. He made things worse.”
    Paige’s eyes widen. “No, I get that. But I sort of understand his position.”
    “You do?” I am shocked by her admission.
    “Yeah. He thought he might have cancer or something and he didn’t want to drag you into it. He wanted you to live your life.”
    “But my life was with him.”
    “I know that. I’m not saying that I agree with what he did. I’m just saying that he clearly thought he was doing the right thing.”
    “What about when he found out it wasn’t cancer? Why didn’t he call me then?”
    “ Hads, he was a football player. He’s a guy who likes to jog and take walks for fun. I’m sure the diagnosis wasn’t easy for him. Sure, it wasn’t a death sentence, but maybe it felt like it to him. It sounds like his condition is a challenge and it’s not something that’s going to go away.”
    I bite my lip, rolling her words around in my mind. “I guess I have been pretty selfish. I haven’t really sat back and thought about how hard this has been on him. I’ve just been so hurt and angry.”
    “I totally get it, Hads. The whole situation is screwed up.”
    “I just wish he would’ve told me. I could’ve helped him, you know?” Emotion wells up in my throat , and I swallow it down. “We missed out on so many years together. And for what?”
    “None of us can go back in time. We can just make the most of right now.”
    “What are you saying?”
    “That Tripp is back, and he’s clearly reaching out to you.”
    I shake my head. “I don’t know if things can work out with us again. Too much has happened.”
    “It’s worth a try though, isn’t it?” Paige shrugs.
    “I don’t know. I mean, a part of me wants to. But there’s another part of me that is still angry, and honestly, kind of scared.”
    “Love’s a risk, Hads. But if it works out, it’s definitely worth it.”
    “Speaking from experience, huh?” I smile.
    “Yeah. When I fell for Colt I had no idea if it would last. He kept saying that he would have to go back home, and he was distant and cold sometimes. But I wanted to be with him more than anything, so I took the risk. And I did almost lose him, remember?”
    “How could I forget?”
    “But even if I had it would’ve been worth it. Loving him for even a short period of time would’ve been better than never loving him at all.”
    “Wow, you really have become a sap. What happened to my smartass best friend? Can I have her back please?”
    Paige chuckles. “Oh, believe me, she’s still in here. She’ll rear her ugly head from time to time. Ask Colt.”
    “I’ll take your word for it.” I slide the cup of coffee in my direction and pick it up. After lifting it to my lips, I take a tentative sip. The hot liquid swims down my throat.
    “What are you gonna do?” Paige asks, eyeing me behind her large black lense-less glasses.
    “I don’t know. I mean, when Tripp kissed me it was the most amazing thing that I’d experienced in the last three years, but- -”
    “Whoa. Hold on. Back the truck up.” Paige slams her cup of coffee down on the circular table.  Coffee spills out of it, splattering her arm like little paint droplets. “You so did not tell me you kissed him.”
    My cheeks flame,