Finding Me Again by Amber Garza Read Free Book Online

bubbles inside of me. “God, Tripp, what does that even mean?”
    “It means that I can’t control myself around you. I never have been able to. You do something to me.”
    I shake my head. “I don’t know what game you’re playing , but I want no part in it.”
    “Game? This isn’t a game,” he says. “ You sound just like when we first became friends. Remember how you thought I was trying to pull a prank on you or something? But I wasn’t playing a game then, and I’m not now. I thought you knew me better than that.”
    “I don’t know you at all anymore. You broke up with me, remember? And now suddenly three years later you show up and you expect me to act like the past several years didn’t even happen.” My lips quiver. “You didn’t even tell me why. You just left me. And I never heard from you. Not even one time, Tripp. Do you have any idea how hard that was for me?” Tears fill my eyes , and I turn away.
    “Hey, don’t cry. Please.” Tripp reaches for me.
    “No. Stop.” I swat his hand away. “Just leave me alone. Please.” I fumble for the doorknob until it finally opens. Then I stumble out of the car and race up the driveway. Not until I’m safely inside do I allow myself to break down and really cry.

 
    Twelve
    Tripp
     
    Desperation blooms in my chest when she races inside her house. I can’t just let Hadley leave like this. I have to finally make things right. After opening the car door, I step outside into the cool evening air. Walking toward her house, I decide it’s time to do what I should’ve done three years ago. I never should’ve broken things off with Hadley without being honest with her. She deserved the whole truth. It was a mistake to withhold it from her. And I’m ready to tell her now.
    I knock a few times and then hear the pitter patter of feet on the opposite side of the door. My heart hammers in my chest and my palms clam up. I wipe them on my jeans. I am feeling a little sore, and that reminds me that I missed my last dose of medicine today. I wasn’t planning on being out this long.
    The door swings open and a girl about seven or eight stands before me, long blond hair falling over her shoulders. She wears a bathing suit cover -up and her bare toes are painted neon orange. A red ring frames her lips like she just finished drinking fruit punch. “Ainsley?” I ask, shocked at how much older she looks than the last time I saw her.
    “Tripp?” Her eyebrows knit together. “Come on in. I’ll grab Hadley.” She whirls around and heads toward the kitchen. I step inside, the familiar scents of Hadley’s house circling me. Everything about this place , from the smell to the familiar pictures on the walls, reminds me of happier times.
    Hadley comes around the corner wearing a guarded expression. She crosses her arms over her chest. “What do you want, Tripp?”
    “I just want to talk to you. Can I please just have a minute?”
    “Give me one good reason why I should,” she says harshly.
    “Because I screwed up, okay? Because everything you said in the car is correct. I did walk out on you without any explanation, and I didn’t call you in the last three years. And I’m so sorry. I should’ve been honest with you from the beginning. But I want to be honest with you now. I’m ready to tell you everything.”
    “Well, what if I don’t want to hear it now? Maybe it’s too late.”
    “Fair enough.” I hold up my palms. “You’re right. I should’ve done this sooner. I really am sorry, Hadley.” Defeated, I turn around and reach for the door knob.
    “Wait,” she speaks so softly I almost don’t hear her.
    I crane my neck to look at her.
    Her cheeks flush. “Call it morbid curiosity , but I kind of want to know.”
    I heave a sigh of relief. “Want to go outside where we can be alone?”
    She nods and then follows me outside. We both plop down in the grass, my old house in view. It all just feels so surreal to be with her now. I pick at a blade of