since his family is swimming in green, I’m sure he can afford more than one pair of mechanically altered Levi’s. “I’ll be sure to aim for both the big head and the little.” My lips cinch into a smirk.
His eyes latch on to mine, and the air charges around us. I’ve never in my life felt so much dislike toward one person.
“There’s not a little head on my body.” He’s daring me to go there one more time with those marbled eyes.
“Be sure to stand next to Duncan while you’re at it. Of course, I’ll have to nick you as well. Everyone in my family knows I’m a damn good shot.” I offer up a little wink.
“All right, Agent Orange—your dad asked me to bring you back alive. There’s some big announcement brewing up there.” He glances back to the cabin with a clear look of regret. If anything, we’re a united front on not wanting our parents to remain united.
“Wait, did you say announcement?” My ears pique at the horrible idea. “What kind of announcement?” People announce things that lead to big life shifts like babies and sex changes, and seeing that neither one of our parents is of a socially acceptable child-bearing age nor are their gender-related parts in any suspected danger, that only leaves…
“That’s right.” Those sides of beef he calls arms fold over his chest. “I don’t know what the hell’s brewing, but your sister was tap dancing like she had to go to the bathroom so she might have a part in it.”
“Bleh.” Just the thought of listening to a thing Sabrina has to say makes me want to vomit all over those bed sheets she and Duncan defiled last night. Speaking of bed sheets… “I’ll go with you under two circumstances. One, you resolve to take us off this mountain tonight after our monster breakup—which, of course, neither my father nor your mother will ever be made aware of, lest I skewer your balls together with one of these bad boys.” I give the arrows slung over my shoulder a slight tap. “And two, never and I mean never—for the safety of your balls—do not and I repeat do not call me Agent Orange again.”
That cocky grin rides low on his lips. “I just thought—”
“That’s where you got into trouble,” I say, bypassing him on the way back to the cabin. “Do us both a favor and don’t do any more thinking.” Good thing for Briggs, chasing after pigskin doesn’t require much cerebral activity.
* * *
T he cabin is lit up inside with a happy, peachy glow. Lawson and Knox are back at the pool table having a good time. Secretly, I hate how easily my brother has struck up a friendship with both Knox and Rex. Why can’t he be like Sabrina and me and give everyone who bears the Toberman moniker the cold shoulder? I spot Trixy and Sabrina huddled in the corner, staring solemnly down at something in my sister’s hand, and my stomach turns. I guess I’m the only one interested in staving off the Toberman virus. I can see it’s spreading quickly, catching like wildfire as one by one my family falls prey to them.
“Batter Bits!” Dad beams as I step inside, and beckons me over with a nod toward the balcony.
“ Batter Bits ?” Rex mouths, and I turn an icy shoulder to him.
Yes, Batter Bits . One day out of the blue my father called Sabrina Pumpkin, and I mistakenly thought a permanent, yet clever, name change had taken place. Naturally, I wanted a far better tasting name myself, so I asked him to call me Cake Batter, not the slimy batter on the side of the bowl, but the yummy batter bits . He and my mother got quite the laugh. He didn’t think Cake Batter quite fit, so it eventually morphed to Batter Bits, and that’s how I’ve affectionately been known to my father all these years.
He offers that well-worn smile of his. Dad is tan year round, not pink in the cheeks, but deep sable brown, a glow he’s toiled for by way of spending the last solid decade on the golf greens. He owns and operates one of the biggest private shipping
Learning to Kill: Stories