from behind, and I can feel the heat, the weight of his body without it ever touching mine. “What’s up with the announcement?” he whispers.
“Probably filling us in on the bedroom scoreboard,” I tease. “She likes to out sex everyone in a ten-block radius at any given time. She’s sort of a dirty little whore that way.” Mostly true.
He pushes out a quiet laugh that strums over my shoulder, and a shiver runs up and down my spine.
“Duncky”—Sabrina pulls him in, and he offers a nauseated smile as if he’s on a boat, the RMS Sabrina , and doesn’t quite have his sea legs—“why don’t we tell everyone on the count of three?”
What can my sister and Duncan ever have to tell anybody in tandem? And why is Duncan’s skin turning a sickly shade of green?
“One—two”—she gives a coy look to my ex-partner in crime, and it hits me. She’s going to out Rex and me. My father will think I’m bumping uglies with Whitney Briggs’s premier ugly bumper, and he’ll never be able to look at me the same again.
“Oh my God,” I hiss just as my sister hits that fated number. “I’M STILL A VIRGIN!” I shout at the top of my lungs just as Duncan and Sabrina shout out something about being engaged.
The room stills. Every single body in this cabin does their best imitation of a wax figure.
My sister’s eyes spring wide in my direction. “Scar Scar?” Her fingers do this funny little dance toward her lady business.
Dad steps over to her with tears streaming down his face, seemingly oblivious to my declaration of purity. “Is my little girl really getting hitched?”
Sabrina’s eyes remain locked with mine as if the ultimate deception had just taken place. Then things turn on a very thin dime, and the room breaks out into congratulations and overall merriment as my father and Lynette shower Sabrina and Duncan as if they were the very first couple on the planet to commit to the idea of wedlock.
“Congratulations,” Rex whispers, and I turn to find that shit-eating grin spreading wide and greedy over his sharp as broken glass features. If that football thing doesn’t work out, he could easily consider posing for one of those underwear spreads that takes over skyscrapers in Times Square.
“I couldn’t care less about my sister and her dunker doodle tying themselves into a big angry knot.” My stomach ties itself into a knot of its own as if to contest the idea. Duncan and I may have never gone all the way, but he was my first real boyfriend. Sabrina knows that part, and now the rest of the free world is in on the chaste story.
“I meant congratulations on keeping yourself sealed shut.” He folds his obnoxious tree trunk like arms across his chest and shrugs.
“Sealed?” Gross. “Never mind. I know what you’re trying to grunt out in caveman speak. I get it. You think it’s hilarious, don’t you? That’s all women are to you, a container of some sort that unscrews itself open for you. Oh, wait, you do the screwing, don’t you?” I turn a hostile shoulder to him and face the music once again. Sabrina and Duncan stand off to the side, stunned. Both Knox and Lawson have their heads twisted away from me as if I were some sort of sexual leper they want no part of, and Trixy keeps sneaking me glances. It’s creepy the way she looks just like Rex with long black hair. She’s stunning, though, yet another creepy element in the Toberman family cookie-cutter attributes.
“Okay!” Lynette claps her hands together. “It seems several of our family members had very important announcements.” Her thin lips stretch eerily into a strange combination of a grimace and a smile. Lynette is thin, sporty for a woman of age, pretty if you’re into that peroxide-hair, blue-eyed combo, porcelain skin, although she’s been cursed with deep-welled marionette lines. I’d like to think my mother would be pleased to know that, pleased to be made aware of all of Lynette Toberman’s flaws both physical
Marguerite Henry, Bonnie Shields