Forgive Me by Melanie Walker Read Free Book Online

“Sorry I am just so taken back by his death and then seeing you….” I paused not sure what to say.
    “ Yeah this isn’t where I imagined seeing you again.” He stepped back and let me go. I had to fight the urge to moan in his absence and ask if he actually thought of seeing me again one day. “I talked to him yesterday morning and he said I needed to come home. I knew by his voice why...” He trailed off his gray eyes full of sorrow. Shame was a master at hiding his emotion too. I had always thought I was blessed because he never hid it from me. I saw the ugliest sides of Shamus when he was sad, he loved and trusted me with those sides of him. He was hiding from me now though and even though I too was hiding, it still broke my heart. “Then he called me last night after he... yeah so I came right after.”
    “ Where were you?” I asked trying to keep my voice level and hide the fact that I knew where he was, what Jerry had said...hide the fact I was there for such an intensely personal moment between him and his father. He may not know how close Jer and I were, but he knew I was there when he took his last breath. I was holding one hand and Jerry had his phone in the other, saying goodby to his son and it felt a million miles away.
    “ London. The band was heading to San Francisco today so we could unwind from the tour and meet with the label before we headed home to decompress. I swear to God Sass, he waited for me to be close-" he paused then afraid to say the truth. “Before he did it. We have our tour starting in Seattle like normal at the beginning of spring so he knew I would be home for a while.” He rubbed his hands over his closely shaved head before he turned. He was hiding like always more afraid of showing emotion than he was of the emotion himself. Even now his father was dead and he couldn’t show his pain.
    “ Probably. He was smarter than most gave him credit for.” I looked at Shame, my Shame and saw the pain he was fighting to hide. He was so closed off when it came to emotion. If it were just us would he let it out? He had in the past and I couldn’t help but wish that he still trusted me that much. “I don’t know if anyone told you Shame but see I-“ I was cut off by that bitch Brittany that almost got her ass kicked by Candey. Clearly she wasn’t done annoying people yet. I had dealt with fangirls from when Shamus was just a local act, I had no idea the level of crazy I would be dealing with now.
    “ Shamus please tell me people are not going to be here night.” Her voice was whiny and she seemed like a spoiled little girl the way she pouted. Her bottom lip was actually protruding like a child.
    But that wasn’t as appalling as Shamus’s reaction to her.
    “ Oh that lip.” He whined back and leaned in to kiss her now dramatic pouting bottom lip. I actually felt my stomach turn at the sight, gagging at the overly cutesie gesture. Some may say it was jealousy but it was his voice and his action. “Give me a minute Brit.” He said the words against her lips and I wanted to weep.
    My memories of Shame were crowded by whispers of ‘ I love you’ or ‘I need you’ all spoken against my lips. I had always thought of it as his trademark when he showed me that slight emotion. It was special even if it seemed mundane. He would whisper against my lips knowing I would tremble. It was ours.
    I guess I was wrong and it was just another piece of Shamus James I didn’t know existed. What a fool I was, he had been with girls before me. I was no different than ‘ Brit’
    I wanted to slap Brit ….and yes I know I am being a catty bitch, but like Carrie always said “ At least I’m woman enough to admit it.”
    Shamus then slapped her ass causing her to scream with laughter that was fitting to the person it came from. She was cheap. Jealous or not I was sticking to that assumption.
    “ Dad would have loved her.” Shamus said with a smile as he watched her walk away. I called