Four Things My Geeky-Jock-of-a-Best-Friend Must Do in Europe by Jane Harrington Read Free Book Online

breakfast, so we can get ashore. We have, she says, exactly six hours to cover “a whole list of must-sees.” Then she read them off to me, but I can’t tell you what they were, because I was thinking about something else at the time. Like how much I like to sleep when I’m tired. Then she ran off and said we would be leaving “the moment” she gets back. I’m sure I have time, though, to squeeze in a teeny-weeny report on . . .

    THE POSEIDON MIXER
    Which is what the party was called last night—at least according to the banner over the entrance to the Roman Ruins Pool. Standing under it, greeting us, was Gilligan, the social director dude.
    (But he’s not the “dude” type, actually. Think the blond guy on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy . That’s closer to Gilligan.)
    He pointed to the banner and told us—with oodles of enthusiasm—that he’d made it himself on the computer. We complimented him—what a cool font he’d chosen, what excellent colors, what realistic waves, and what an awesome Poseidon! You know, the usual humoring-of-adults drill.
    “You’re the first ones to greet Poseidon, the god who reigns over the mixer, triton in hand!” he said, pointing then to the middle of the pool, where a large statue of a sea god loomed over the water.
    “But isn’t that three-pronged thing called a trident?” Tatyana asked him.
    “No, no, it’s a triton,” Gilligan said in an aren’t-you-silly-kids sort of way.
    “I thought Triton was the name of his kid,” I said. “The half-fish one.”
    “Yes!” Noori said. “Triton was the king in The Little Mermaid !”
    Gilligan was momentarily flustered, then smiled and proclaimed, “And Poseidon is the king of the mixer!”
    We smiled back and nodded slowly. (In a universal-sign-for-kookoo sort of way.)
    He pulled some wristbands from a bag he was carrying and started to tell us about a “big surprise” he had planned for the evening, when Tatyana said, “Are you really sure that’s even a statue of Poseidon?”
    “Yes! Poseidon’s the god of the sea!” he answered. “You should each take a different color wristband, and be listening for a—”
    “Poseidon’s from Greek mythology, though,” Noori said, interrupting him. “Isn’t this the Roman Ruins Pool?”
    “I think that’s really Neptune,” I threw in.
    “The Roman sea god,” Tatyana added.
    (You know, the informing-adults-of-things-they-should-already-know drill.)
    Some new people arrived just about then, and Gilligan—with an extremely relieved look on his face—began greeting them.
    The wristbands he gave us are like those Livestrong things, only they were in a bunch of different colors, and they said “Poseidon’s Mixer” on them. I took a blue one (of course), Noori got orange, and Tatyana pink.
    We staked out some lounge chairs and listened to the music the DJ was playing, which was mostly rap. Lahn showed up, and I waved him over to a chair by ours. (Lahn is the one from our dinner table, in case you’re having a hard time keeping up with my rapidly increasing social circle). Then AJ appeared, of course, so we put PHASE ONE of our plan into action. It went like this:

    1. AJ makes a beeline to me.
    2. I thank him for being such a cool guy and saving my life.
    3. He asks me if I want to dance.
    4. I say, “No, thank you.”
    5. He asks me if I want to swim.
    6. I say, “No, thank you.”
    7. Noori announces she is going swimming, takes off her batik wrap to display a red, white, and blue string bikini, and dives into the pool. (Which was really smooth, Delia. You would like this girl.)
    8. PHASE ONE ends—and fails—when AJ does not follow her, but remains lodged next to my lounge chair.
    9. There is no PHASE TWO.
    So we just hung out in our lounge chairs—Lahn, Tatyana, Noori (who gave up on the swim pretty quickly), and me, with AJ standing RIGHT next to my chair, like a bodyguard. It was muy (that’s Spanish for “very”) uncomfortable.
    Finally, Noori said,