seem as insignificant as possible.
Everyone had to go back to work right away.
So many times I was a part of those missions. I always hated Warner, hated The Reestablishment
and all it stood for, but now I feel even more strongly about it all. Thinking I’d
lost James did something to me last night, and the damage is irreparable. I thought
I knew what it was like to lose someone close to me, but I didn’t, not really. Losing
a parent is excruciating, but somehow, the pain is so much different from losing a
child. And James, to me, in many ways, feels like my own kid. I raised him. Took care
of him. Protected him. Fed him and clothed him. Taught him most everything he knows.
He’s my only hope in all this devastation—the one thing I’ve always lived for, always
fought for. I’d be lost without him.
James gives my life purpose.
And I didn’t realize this until last night.
What The Reestablishment does—separating parents from their children, separating spouses
from each other, basically ripping families apart—they do it on purpose. And the cruelty
of these actions hadn’t really hit me until now.
I don’t think I could ever be a part of something like that again.
FOURTEEN
We pull into the underground parking garage without a problem, and once we’re inside,
I can exhale. I know we’ll be safe here.
The nine of us clamber out of the tank and stand around for a moment. Brendan and
Winston are holding fast to each other, still recovering from their wounds. I’m not
sure what happened to them, exactly, because no one is talking about it, but I don’t
think I want to know. Alia and Lily help Castle down from the tank, and Ian is close
behind. Kenji is standing next to me. I’m still holding James in my arms, and I only
put him down after he asks me to.
“You guys ready to go up?” I ask. “Shower? Eat some breakfast?”
“That sounds great, man,” says Ian.
Everyone else agrees.
I lead the way, James clinging to my hand.
It’s crazy—the last time we were here, we were on the run from Warner. Me and Juliette.
It was the first time she met James, the first time it felt like we could really have
a life together. And then Kenji showed up and redirected the course of everything.
I shake my head, remembering. It feels like a million years ago, somehow. So much
has changed. I was practically a different guy back then. I feel much older and harder
and angrier now. Difficult to believe it was only a few months ago.
The front door is still messed up from when Warner and his guys busted it open, but
we make do. I yank on the handle and then shove, hard, and the door swings inward.
Suddenly we’re all crossing the threshold.
I’m looking around, amazed to see everything almost exactly the way we left it. A
few things are knocked over and the place needs a serious cleaning, but it’ll work.
It’ll be a great, safe place to live for a while. I start flipping switches and the
small rooms flicker to life, fluorescent lights humming steadily in the silence. James
bolts toward his bedroom, and I check the cabinets for canned goods and nonperishable
items; we’ve still got tons of Saran-wrapped packages for the Automat.
I breathe a sigh of relief.
“Who wants breakfast?” I ask, holding up a few packets.
Kenji falls to his knees, shouting, “Hallelujah!” in the process; Ian practically
tackles me. James comes racing out of his room shouting, “ME ME ME I DO I DO,” and
Lily laughs her head off. Alia smiles and leans against the wall as Brendan and Winston
collapse on the couch, groaning in relief. Castle is the only one who remains silent.
“All right, everyone,” Kenji says. “Adam and I will get the food going, and the rest
of you can take turns washing up. Also, I hate to be super obvious here, but there’s
only one bathroom, and we all have to share, so let’s please be aware of that. Adam’s
got some supplies, but not