Free to Live: The Utter Relief of Holiness by John Eldredge Read Free Book Online Page B

masculinity and femininity. Sometimes I’ll run into guys who say they “don’t go for all that outdoor stuff.” That’s fine; you don’t have be a lumberjack to be a man. The central issue of masculinity is courage; courage can express itself in the city as much as in the outdoors. However, I want to push into this dismissal a bit and ask why? Why is it really that you are not “into” outdoor stuff? You see, every man has a very deep and powerful commitment never, ever to place himself in a situation where he might be exposed. The outdoors exposes us; it tests us. Avoiding it is safe. How convenient. (On the other hand, guys who always have to have Carhartts on or cowboys boots—what’s that about?) Do you see how the issue of motive runs deeper than, “I’m into this and you’re into that”?
    In a similar fashion, women often tell me, “I’m not really into all that women’s stuff—dresses, makeup, jewelry.” That’s okay—lots of women are more “tomboyish” or athletic; perhaps they are into engineering; maybe they just like blue jeans. That’s fine; femininity expresses itself in many ways. But may we push into that a little bit? Have you ever asked what’s behind that? Why don’t you want to be seen as feminine? Might it be that you fear you are not, so why bother trying? Might it be that you don’t want to draw the attention of men? And why is that? How is that safer for you? (And those of you gals who won’t leave the house without your makeup on—what’s that about?)
    Friends, I hope you begin to see that we all have an approach to life, and we think our approach entirely justified. It has never even occurred to most of us that our personality is a reflection of our holiness! But listen to this definition St. Paul offers in the Book of Romans:
    Everything that does not come from faith is sin. (14:23)
    Well, now—that boils things down pretty quickly. Sin is not primarily an issue of behavior; it isn’t an issue of correct doctrine. It is an issue of motive . Whatever isn’t born out of deep confidence in God is sin. That includes our personality and our approach to life.
    Some friends invite you to a party; you decline, explaining that you’re busy. But the truth is you’re really uncomfortable at parties. The issue is fear. That’s not faith; it’s a self-protective move on your part. And it isn’t loving, it isn’t holy. On the other hand, some of you cannot bear to be left out of a party; you always make sure somehow or other to get yourself included. Why? You fear rejection; you need to be affirmed by others’ interest in you. That’s not faith, either; it’s controlling. It is also a self-protective move on your part, just as unholy.
    Everything we do has a motive behind it. This is such a helpful category. It will be the dawning of a new day for us when we can simply accept Jesus’ offer of genuine integrity by looking at our motives. Begin to be honest about your motives. There’s no shame, no condemnation; everything is covered by the grace of Christ. (More on that in a bit.) So let’s go ahead and put it all on the table. Just begin to be honest about your motives. “This is really what’s fueling me. This is why I say this or don’t say that. This is why I eat this or don’t eat that. This is why I go to church. This is why I pray. This is what is motivating me.” And then begin to choose otherwise.
    Begin to choose according to motive. This is where genuine goodness is lived out; this is the real deal. The sense of personal integrity that it will give you will be profound, absolutely profound. What a relief to operate not out of fear, but out of faith; not out of self-protection, but out of love. Oh, the joy of it! Once you begin to taste it, the old ways become less and less attractive. You find yourself saying, I just don’t want to live that life anymore. I want the real thing. I want holiness. I want the real deal. So David prays,
    Create in me a pure