Free to Live: The Utter Relief of Holiness by John Eldredge Read Free Book Online

Mary; when it’s about someone else, she isn’t present at all. What looks like service is really her way of getting herself needed and noticed. That’s not goodness at all.
    Think about how you operate in social settings—why don’t you want to be seen talking to Fred? Is it because Fred is unpopular and laughed at by the “in” crowd. Why do you move directly toward Joan and Harold? Is it because they are part of the “in” crowd? You flatter your boss—is it because you really like what he’s said, or because next week is your performance review? Why do you use such highly technical language in a business meeting? Is it truly helpful to your listeners—or does it give you the aura of being the “expert,” allow you to throw some terms around to impress others? Maybe you don’t speak up in a meeting at all—why is that? Is it humility, or is it simply fear?
    The phone rings; you check caller ID and don’t answer it. You satisfy yourself by thinking, “Well, we are in the middle of dinner.” But the real motive is you are avoiding that person. You have something to say to a friend or a co-worker; you choose e-mail to say it. Why? Because it will help that person better understand the issue? Or because you haven’t the courage to tell him to his face? Isn’t it easier to take shots from a distance? You laugh at your neighbor’s jokes during the annual Christmas party; yet you hate your neighbor. So what’s with the pretending?
    You are faithful in attending church. Why? Is it because you are truly worshiping God there? Or could it be because you know people will “talk” if you don’t? Speaking of church, why the joke in the sermon? Is it really part of the message God gave you—or does it serve to win the crowd, make the congregation like you? We get angry when our children misbehave in public. Why? Isn’t it really because it is embarrassing, because the crowd is now looking at us and forming opinions about us as parents? I want my sons to be seen as spiritual. Why? Could the fact that I’m a Christian author and leader of a ministry be playing a role in that—or is it truly a longing for them to walk with God?
    Friends, until we begin to get honest about our motives, we are kidding ourselves about holiness. We are pretending.
iMotives
    Most of my readers probably remember the commercials comparing the Mac to the PC. “Hello. I’m a Mac.” “And I’m a PC.” They were funny; they were clever; they were absolutely brilliant. The Mac was hip, laid-back, dressed for the times, tolerant, “authentic,” the ultimate postmodern. The PC was awkward, dressed for the office climate of the 1980s, goofy, overweight, fumbling, and clearly not authentic. C’mon now, admit it—you wanted to be the Mac. Even if you didn’t own a Mac computer or ever cared to own a Mac, in that commercial, you wanted to be the Mac. Who wants to be the schlub?
    Surely you are aware what a powerful motive “wanting to be liked” is. It shapes what you wear every day. The way you talk. The way you present yourself to the world. What you say. What you won’t say. How you want to be seen. Your opinions. In the powerful riptide of current opinion, laid-back is in; uptight is out. Tolerant is in; dogmatic is out. Enlightened is in; yesterday is out. Thus the brilliance of those ads. But this goes way beyond computers. It shapes our theology, our politics, our values. It is shaping you more than you know.
    Think about what you choose to wear—is it really only because you like it? Don’t you also hope that others will think certain things about you—that you are rugged, or sexy, or environmentally conscious, or cool? A few years ago Toms shoes were the craze. The founder had a great idea—make an eco-friendly shoe and build a movement around it by giving a free pair to an underprivileged child somewhere in the world every time a pair of Toms was bought by a consumer. The shoes became a huge hit on college campuses.