Friend Is a Four Letter Word by Steph Campbell Read Free Book Online Page B

hits me.
    It’s just a fantasy. Carter and me. Us having a snowball’s chance in hell of actually being together. My finger hesitates over the screen, then I swipe it off and look back at Nolan.
    Good, sweet Nolan who’s here and nice and fits my life. Not a dream, not a tease. And I make the decision to focus on him and what’s real.
    No matter how much I want to curl up with my fantasies of Carter.
    It’s still early. What else do I have to do with my time?
    “Sure, yeah, that sounds fine,” I say, swallowing back my sigh.
    Nolan raises his glass to me and nods. “Cheers, then.”
    “What are we toasting to again?” I ask, sipping on the soda and wishing I had something stronger to pour into it to liven this evening up.
    “To what promises to be an amazing evening.”
    “Cheers,” I say, but I don’t quite manage to match Nolan’s eager grin.
     

     
    I’ve been to Nolan’s place before, briefly. Usually it’s because he forgot something, or we were meeting up here before we went on one of our dates to watch him fence. This time is different though, because I’m here to hang out.
    To actually spend time with this guy I’ve known for months, but still hardly know.
    I walk over to the display case full of swords. I’ve seen them before, but never bothered to really look at them or comment on them.
    “Are these all of the same?” I ask, knowing that talk of fencing will at least break some of the ice. He loves to talk fencing… even though the immature voice in my head wants to make jokes about sword size.
    “These two are. They’re sabers,” Nolan says pointing to the two swords at the top of the display. He leans in over my shoulder and his breath ruffles the hair on the nape of my neck. “This one is a foil, and this one, with the stiffer blade down here,” he pushes the hair off of the back of my neck and presses his warm lips to the skin, exactly where I imagined Carter kissing me when I read his silly boiled peanuts text. “That’s my favorite. The épée .”
    I swallow hard and pull away, so his lips aren’t in that place that feels, inexplicably, like it belongs to Carter. “What’s so great about that one?”
    I spin toward Nolan, my back up against the wall now. He presses in closer and puts his hands on either side of my head as he leans toward me, his light blue eyes focused on my face. “With the épée , no part of the body is off limits.”
    I clear my throat, duck under his arms, and start to pace. “Do you have anything to drink?” I ask, my voice an octave higher than normal.
    “You feeling okay? Do you want to sit down?” Nolan shoots me a look of real concern.
    “Yeah, sure.” I sit in the small arm chair. Seating for one. I watch as he rushes away, cynically wondering if it’s just that he wants to be sure I’m comfortable enough to pick up the makeout session where he left off.
    Nolan calls from the kitchen. “I’ve got water, juice, I think I have some beer in here somewhere—”
    “You have beer?” I ask with a scoff that borders on impolite.
    Nolan glances up from the fridge, the bluish light making him look washed out. “Yes, I have beer, Shayna. Don’t sound so surprised.”
    “But, I thought… do your parents know?” I can’t keep a straight face as I say it.
    He gazes back into the fridge, moving things back and forth like he’s checking behind them for something. “Know what?” His voice echoes out from the fridge, making it sound far away.
    I know it’s not nice, but I poke at him anyway. He’s another pastor’s kid. He’d understand better than anyone what that’s like. “That you’ve thrown away your values and morals and—”
    Nolan rounds the kitchen counter and comes back into the living room with two beers, which he puts down on the scuffed coffee table. “That’s sort of what I wanted to talk to you about.”
    “Your missing values?” I rub my now sweaty palms down the length of my skirt.
    “No, not really, but okay