Frozen Billy by Anne Fine Read Free Book Online Page B

his slave.’
    The audience chuckled, though you could tell they weren’t quite sure what amused them.
    The cold hostility in Uncle Len’s eyes came out in Frozen Billy’s voice: ‘Slave?’
    Will plucked at his schoolboy shirt and trousers. ‘Don’t be fooled by these clothes. What would you call it if someone was snatched out of school in his mother’s absence, and forced to work and work and work, and be paid not a penny?’
    Before some smart answer could come from Frozen Billy, and turn the joke, Will played Uncle Len’s trick of bringing in the audience.
    â€˜Should you all think that cruel?’
    â€˜Yes,’ called the audience.
    â€˜ Very cruel?’
    The audience called louder. ‘Yes!’
    â€˜Very, very cruel?’
    â€˜Indeed!’ they roared. ‘Very cruel!’
    â€˜ Preposterously cruel?’
    How the audience laughed, to hear such a fine word coming from a schoolboy’s mouth. ‘Yes! Yes!’ they shouted. ‘Preposterously cruel!’
    â€˜ Monstrously cruel?’
    â€˜Indeed!’ they all shouted, and some wag called down from the balcony: ‘Unconscionably cruel!’
    Then they all started. ‘Uncommonly cruel! ‘Thunderingly cruel!’ ‘Shockingly cruel!’ ‘Devilishly cruel!’ ‘Unbearably cruel!’ Even, from someone no more than a few rows in front of me: ‘ Damnably cruel.’

    â€˜In short,’ said Will, ‘quite unspeakably cruel!’
    The audience howled with laughter. Will turned to Frozen Billy. ‘So, brother. What do you think this fine “uncle” deserves, for sitting both of us in splendour on his knees every night, but making one of us work with no pay?’
    I saw the beads of sweat gather on Uncle Len’s forehead. Will seized the moment to turn to the audience again.
    â€˜Should this kind “uncle” be despised for all his promises that turn to lies?’
    â€˜Indeed he should!’ called back the audience.
    â€˜Perhaps he should even be thrashed like a scoundrel?’
    â€˜Yes!’ bellowed the audience, enjoying the joke hugely.
    â€˜Arrested, even, for his false pretences?’
    I saw the sweat run over Uncle Len’s fixed smile as the audience roared their agreement.
    â€˜Yes! Yes!’
    â€˜Arrest him!’
    Will tipped his head to one side in puppet fashion. ‘No. Wait! I have a better idea . . .’
    The audience waited, spellbound.
    â€˜I’ll tell my mother! Yes! I’ll tell my mother!’
    They roared with laughter, and the act went on.
    On my way backstage, I felt a hand on my arm and turned to see Madame Terrazini. She had a puzzled look. ‘Clarrie, your brother surely cannot—’
    I broke away. ‘You must excuse me! I must be there for him when Uncle Len comes off the stage!’
    I rushed off and waited, terrified, for the quarrel I was quite sure would follow. Smouldering with anger, Uncle Len strode to the carrying box waiting on its stand in the wings, hurled in Frozen Billy and left the theatre, ignoring both of us. I hurried after, dragging a grim-faced Will.
    At the door of the Soldier at Arms, Uncle Len turned away without a word. Will muttered sourly, ‘Ale drowns more men than Neptune,’ and moved ahead of me. Each time I hurried to catch up, he walked even faster, till he was running. So in the end I let him go, and by the time I’d reached our rooms, he had pulled the coverlet over him to pretend he was sleeping.
    Next morning Uncle Len greeted him with a scowl. ‘Well, Will? Your humour last night sprang from some bitter root.’
    Will stared back coolly. ‘You know the saying, Uncle. “You should be careful what you give a child, for in the end you’ll get it back.” ’
    Uncle Len flushed. I thought the fur would fly. But there was something in Will’s eyes that made Uncle Len hesitate. He