Gina and Mike by Buffy Andrews Read Free Book Online Page B

would like nothing more than for Gina to see him the way he saw her. No. It couldn’t be that. As much as I disliked J.R. I know that he would never hurt Gina. He cares too much about her.
    I just couldn’t quite figure out what had happened, but I was beginning to see that if I loved Gina, I was going to have to let her go. I didn’t want to pressure her or make her feel crappy every time we tried to make out. I needed to let her go so she could figure out whatever the hell was going on. What’d she call it? Yeah, her wilderness. I needed to let her find the way out of her wilderness. I was pissed that she wasn’t letting me help her, but there was a part of me that knew that maybe Gina was right. She needed to do this alone. And I definitely didn’t want to make it more complicated and difficult than it already was.
     
    ****
     
    Gina
     
     
    It was a few weeks after graduation. The parties were over and senior week was history. Mom and Dad were out with friends and Mike came over to watch movies.  
    Mike sat on the couch beside me. He took my hands in his and kissed each one. “You just don’t seem to trust me, Gina. I’ve tried. I’ve really tried. I’ve been patient and I’ve tried not to push you.  I didn’t even pressure you into having sex during senior week, which, by the way, was incredibly hard. Everyone else was screwing but us. But it’s not just the sex I miss. I miss you. The Gina I loved before this new Gina came into the picture. Sometimes I feel like I don’t even know you anymore. You and I know that we can’t go on like this. I love you. I’ll always love you. But, what’s that you called it? Wilderness? You need to get out of that wilderness you’re in.”
    Tears pooled in my eyes. Mike was right. I did have trust issues. I couldn’t trust anyone anymore – even him. After all, I had kind-of, sort-of trusted Smith and he betrayed that trust.
    I bit my bottom lip and the tears came without being called. Mike handed me the box of tissues on the end table. I blew my nose and nodded. “You’re right.”
    Mike sighed. “You’ve also become more and more withdrawn. You don’t want to go out much anymore, and you never tell me anything.”
    I grabbed a throw pillow and hugged it. “You’re right. I need to get my head on straight. I’m sorry. This just isn’t working. I’m screwed up. I’ve been screwed up for awhile. I need to get unscrewed because I definitely don’t want to screw you up, too.”
    Mike bolted up. “I didn’t mean that I wanted to break up, just that things have to change.”
    “Things aren’t going to change until I change. And I’m not going to change because I can’t change. At least I haven’t been able to yet. I think it’s time that we break up. You deserve more than I can give you now. I’m sorry.”
    Mike jumped off the couch and threw his arms in the air. “I can’t believe you’re throwing everything we had away. Just like that.”  He snapped his fingers. “That it didn’t mean anything to you.”
    I stood up. “That’s not fair. It means everything to me. That’s why I’m doing what I’m doing.”
    Mike grabbed my shoulders and his eyes bore into mine. “Gina, baby. Do you realize how incredibly stupid that sounds?”
    “But it’s the truth. I need to work through some stuff.”
    Mike threw his arms in the air again. “Yeah, stuff that you refuse to tell me about.”
    I crossed my arms. “Right, stuff that’s mine and mine alone to work out. But it’s not that I don’t love you.”
    “Yeah, right.”
    “Mike, I have always loved you and I always will. But sometimes loving someone means letting them go.”
    Mike punched the air. “Fuck that, Gina. That’s a line of crap. When you love someone you trust them, you don’t keep things from them. When you love someone you want to spend the rest of your life with them. Not throw everything away that you worked so hard to build.”
    “Fine. Then I don’t love you