Gnome On The Range by Jennifer Zane Read Free Book Online Page A

held up the black mesh pseudo-briefs with one finger, “this!” I slingshot them across the room. They landed on top of the toaster oven. I shivered. “I’m not getting a good mental image right now.” Ty or any man, no matter how hot they were, would look ridiculous in a pair of underwear that left his bits and pieces hanging out. It was like the crotchless panty for men. And in black mesh. Gross!
    “I’m more a boxers kind of girl.” I darted a quick glance at Ty’s lower region.
    He noticed and waggled his eyebrows. “Wanna see if I’m a boxers kind of guy?”
    Yes . “Um…” I felt like a fifteen year old girl with brand new, raging hormones mucking up all modest thoughts. I tapped the box. “This is all Goldie. My mother-in-law. She thinks I need…sex. She thinks I need sex with you .”
    I ran my hand over my face, hoping to wipe off some of the scorching heat I felt there. I was more than competent to embarrass myself without any help from Goldie. Especially since I’d been caught checking out his package. I considered how I was going to murder her. Strangulation was good. I could strangle her with the pouchless briefs.
    “Your mother-in-law…your MOTHER-IN-LAW thinks we should have sex?” The man looked stunned, and then took a big glug of beer. “Jesus. Your mother-in-law thinks we should have anal sex.”
    “Can you please stop saying anal?” I asked, dying a slow death.
    “I’m not sure if I should be thankful or hurt. Does she think I need that much help with a woman?” He pointed at the box.
    “Let’s take Goldie out of this for a minute because she’ll be dead by morning. You haven’t thought about having sex with me?” Might as well put him on the spot.
    “Well…yeah,” he replied. “Definitely. Especially the other morning when you weren’t wearing a bra and your nipple…. And that other time when your nipples—”
    I held up my hand to stop him. Obviously the man wasn’t a monk and had a breast obsession. “I get the idea.”
    “I really like your nipples.” One side of his mouth tipped up in one of those perverted male grins. It was the grin of a man with sex on the brain. “And they really seem to like me.”
    I felt heat shoot to the roots of my hair. Time to change the subject. “Goldie doesn’t think you need help, she thinks I do.”
    He raised one eyebrow then looked me up and down. He took his time doing it, too. Especially in the nipple region. “If you keep going the braless route you’ll have guys lined up around the block.”
    Thank goodness I was wearing one right now. Huh. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
    Ty took another swig of beer. “You have an…interesting family. Never a dull moment around here.”
    “Excitement’s not so bad,” I said. My life had been ho-hum for so long, I had to admit the past few days had been…action packed. Exciting. Thrilling.
    Ty shook his head. “I’m done with excitement. Two tours in the Middle East and I’m full up on excitement. I’m trying for the quiet life.” He grabbed the box of condoms. “I’ve got to go.”
    “I thought you didn’t need Goldie’s help.”
    His grin was back. “Goldie helped by saving me a trip to the store.” He held up the box of condoms. “Tell her thanks for me.”
    He walked toward the door but came back, stood right in front of me. Close enough I could see the blond stubble on his jaw, smell his fabulous scent, whatever it was. “Look, I’m more than okay with sex. That’s adventure, not excitement. A relationship, not happening. That’s more than I can handle right now.”
    “What are the condoms for then?” I wondered.
    He lifted the box. “Condoms are for sex. A relationship is when you don’t use them.”
    Made sense to me in a single, commitment-phobic male sort of way. Goldie had said that I needed sex. Not a relationship. She obviously thought an orgasm or two would help. In theory, I couldn’t argue with that. An orgasm would be darn good, but in