Gnome On The Range by Jennifer Zane Read Free Book Online

placed the phone on the base in the kitchen to charge and started cleaning up the dinner dishes. For a fifties house, the kitchen reeked of early eighties. It had dark wood cabinets with forest green laminate counters. The floor was a light pine, which matched nothing. The only updates in the past twenty-five years had been recessed light fixtures, a new fridge and stove top.
    I wasn’t in a rush to update. The garage was off the kitchen and the room became a catch-all for coats, boots, school projects and all and sundry that came into the house. It didn’t make sense to modernize if it was a mess all the time.
    The fabulous feature of the room was wall-to-wall windows in front of the kitchen table that looked out on the back yard. It made the outdoors a part of the room. I was closing the dishwasher when there was a knock at the door. Ty.
    “Hi. I wanted to see how Bobby was doing,” Ty said, a small shipping box under one arm.
    He wore his work uniform and looked perfect. I wore The Usual. Shorts and a T-shirt. Barefooted. My hair in a ponytail. I'd looked better, but I was learning this man seemed to only see me at my less than fashionably-perfect moments. Getting pulled together was a lost cause at this point. He'd know for sure I was trying too hard. Kelly wouldn’t buy that theory, but I was running with it.
    I stood back and let him in. “He’s fine. They’re asleep already. I really appreciate your help today.”
    “All in a day’s work.” Ty placed the box on the counter, and then shoved his hands into his pants pockets.
    “I just finished doing the dishes. Want a beer?” I walked over to the fridge and pulled out two. I wasn’t curious about the box at all. Nope.
    “Sure.” Ty leaned a hip against the counter, took the beer I handed him and twisted off the top. “Can I ask you something?” He took a swig.
    I wasn’t sure what he would say. He could ask anything from borrowing a cup of sugar to what color underwear I wore, so I just nodded my head.
    “Should I be making a move on you or something?” Ty’s mouth tipped up.
    Yes! Make a move! I got that nervous feeling in my stomach, the one where the butterflies tried to escape, and took a lug of my beer to stall. And hopefully drown the butterflies. I definitely fantasized about kissing him a whole heck of a lot. “Why...why do you ask?”
    “When I got home from work tonight,” he pointed to the box, “this was on my doorstep.”
    “Order something lately?”
    “Not quite. Inside’s a super sized box of condoms, ribbed variety.” He used his fingers to help him count off the items. “One of those fingertip vibrators, some lube, a pair of pouchless briefs and some anal beads. Are the beads meant for you or for me?”
    “Holy crap.” I was so mortified I might throw up. I put my beer on the counter with a loud thud and held onto the surface for support. I tilted my head and looked up at Ty. He seemed relaxed and unruffled, once more enjoying my embarrassment. Saying the words ‘pouchless briefs’ didn’t seem to bother him at all. In fact, he was smiling.
    I pulled the box toward me and pried back a cardboard flap with a finger. Yup, there was the great big box of condoms. Then I realized he thought I was the culprit.
    “You think I did this?” I sputtered. “I usually take a plate of brownies to new neighbors.”
    “Maybe you’re the aggressive type. Likes to show a man what she wants. Or certain parts of her,” he replied, smiling. His eyes moved blatantly to my breasts. “I like that in a woman.”
    It was so absurd, I laughed.
    “Me? You think I’d pick out pouchless briefs for a guy?” If he only knew. I was so un-aggressive. I wanted desperately to kiss him, but I couldn’t even do that. My nerves would make me start to giggle. I was such a mess! If I couldn’t even make the first move, how could I push pornographic underwear on him? Or anal beads!
    “Just because I work in a sex store doesn’t mean I go for,” I