Go Jump in the Pool by Gordon Korman Read Free Book Online Page B

to her feet and began screaming.
    “My baby! Freddie, stop it this instant!”
    Miss Scrimmage was quick to join the mother’s wailing.
    By the time the Amazing Frederick, apparently still alive and well, had collapsed on the stage with his chest heaving and his head in a towel, the audience was in a frenzy.
    Bruno grasped the microphone. “The Amazing Frederick, folks, and wasn’t he wonderful?”
    The mother cried, “Wait till I get my hands on you, Freddie!” sending the audience into gales of laughter.
    “And now, ladies and gentlemen, we take pride in presenting our super-gymnast — Perry Elbert!”
    Perry cartwheeled onto the stage and began a series of leaps, bounds, somersaults, headstands, stretches and bends, all to music. He was a real trouper, getting through the flash of Mrs. Sturgeon’s camera and even ignoring the three times his record became stuck.
    While he was taking his bows after a flawless performance, Perry was thinking happily that the jinx was broken. Bruno hadn’t gotten to him this time. Then Bruno bounded onto the stage shouting, “That was great!” He awarded Perry a mighty slap on the back and Perry went sprawling off the stage head-first, into the lap of Mr. Sturgeon. Both he and the Headmaster ended up on the floor.
    Perry scrambled up and shot Bruno an accusing glance before turning to assist Mr. Sturgeon. Fortunately the Headmaster was unhurt.
    On stage, Bruno carried on. “I draw your attention, ladies and gentlemen, to the spotlight at the centre of our stage.” The spotlight was focused on the huge grand piano. Underneath it squatted Wilbur Hackenschleimer. “Introducing Super Hackenschleimer who will, before your very eyes, lift this immensely colossal piano. May I have a drum roll please.”
    There was the sound of a needle scratching on a record and the drum roll started. Slowly, Wilbur began to stand up. Sweat poured down his face, and terrible grunts and groans burst from him. With agonizing slowness, his shoulders lifted the piano as he straightened his legs.
    Mr. Sturgeon put an iron grip on his wife’s camera. “Mildred, don’t you dare flash that thing in the boy’s face!” he whispered tensely. “He’ll drop our piano — our
only
piano!”
    The piano teetered dangerously on Wilbur’s immense shoulders, as he stood upright. The audience broke into a thunderous ovation. Mr. Sturgeon held his breath while the Macdonald Hall strongman eased himself back onto his knees and let the piano safely down onto the floor. Then and only then did Mrs. Sturgeon stand up and snap a picture of Super Hackenschleimer panting and flexing his muscles in victory.
    “Well, what do you know!” exclaimed Boots O’Neal to himself in the wings. “He
can
lift a piano!”
    His feeling of elation was instantly replaced by profound embarrassment. Wilbur’s act was finished, and that meant it was time for the “ugliest man in the world” routine. Boots would have given a great deal to avoid it, but he pictured himself at York Academy and knew he couldn’t let Bruno down. Not now.
    “And now, ladies and gentlemen, a special treat,” he heard Bruno say. “The famous Melvin P. O’Neal of Macdonald Hall — who plans to
stay
at Macdonald Hall — has searched the world over and found the person who is, without question, the ugliest man in the world. Bring him out, Mr. O’Neal.”
    Boots appeared, leading one of the stage hands who had a towel draped over his head.
    “Is this the ugliest man in the world?” Bruno asked. Boots nodded miserably.
    “Are you going to allow anyone to look at the ugliest man in the world?”
    Again Boots nodded miserably.
    Hughie, one of the soft-shoe dancers, approached the ugliest man in the world, peeked under the towel, cried out in horror, and fell to the stage in a dead faint.
    Next Cathy Burton marched out, wearing a full-length raincoat. She lifted the towel, let out a shriek that raised the audience out of their seats and collapsed beside