God Save the Queen by Amanda Dacyczyn Read Free Book Online

“Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to go to bed.” And with that I slammed the door in his face, just in case he didn’t get the message.
    *               *              *
                  My head hit the pillow and I slowly fell into deep slumber, wrapping the comforter so tightly around me that I thought this was probably what a cocoon felt like. Safe, protected, and warm. That was when my dream began.
                  It started as I walked through my old house, which looked a bit different than when I had last left it. It looked like my house when I was about five. Maybe four. It’s funny that you just accept things like that when you’re dreaming; you never think, “Hold on, we got rid of this wallpaper years ago…” No, you just go with it.
    Anyway, I heard voices coming from the dining room, so I slowly headed there, feeling a bit fretful of what I would see. And when I got there I could feel the tears coming to my eyes.
                  Right in front of me were my mother and my father, each holding one end of a cake with a huge number 5 candle. I could tell it was my mother by the way she delicately brushed her light brown hair away from her face with her little finger. As soon as she did it, I was overcome with emotion, because I had forgotten that gesture of hers, as well as that diamond--or should I say, boulder--on her left-hand ring finger. My father always splurged on my mother, and on me as well. We were his “ladies,” he called us; we were his whole world. He reminded us of that every day.
                  My father was standing with the biggest smile I had seen in years, and his light blue eyes were sparkling with happiness. One of his hands was hiding something behind his back, and as I run to the side to peek, I saw it was a gift-wrapped in light pink paper with a purple ribbon.
                  They placed the gift on the table in front of this five-year-old girl, with my mother’s brown hair and my father’s eyes and smile. Her hair was in little brown pigtails, each held in place with little pink ribbons. She smiled broadly at the cake and I saw that both of her front teeth were missing. It was clear that she had dressed herself, because she was wearing an orange dress with purple pants. Did it really take that long for me to realize that the little girl I was staring at was me?
                  I was stunned by the sight that I was looking at. I tried to remember when this happened. I normally remembered all my memories of my parents. Every cut my mother kissed “to make it better,” every time my father would attempt to sing. It was so clear to me right now just thinking about those times, standing here in this dream. Still I couldn’t remember this one moment in my life. Then, when I blew out the candle, I realized the significance of what was happening around me. It was my fifth birthday. It became apparent to me now. No wonder I never remembered this, because it never happened.
                  I also began to remember that I had this dream many times after my parents passed away. They died right before my fifth birthday--a week, to be exact. And I remember thinking that this was going to be my best, my most perfect birthday ever. I really didn’t want anything, just us. I had told them that, I just wanted them and me, for ever and ever, and they didn’t even have to wrap it. Linda was going to come by later and celebrate with us.
    After their funeral, I was looking through their closet and I found all the things that I had wanted, the pink and purple streamers, the balloons with the glitter in them, and the silly hats that I had begged them for. I had them right there in front of me. So I kept all the stuff until my fifth birthday.
                  On the day of my birthday, I was actually fine. Nothing seemed to bother me. Then I heard a knock on the door, so I