Going Down by Roy Glenn Read Free Book Online

wrong. It was better. I enjoyed sucking his dick more than anything and I couldn’t wait until he came over so I could do it. My mother was so happy that I’d stopped sucking my thumb.
    This went on for the next three years. We would get to my house and I would suck his dick. It was the only sex we had. We never had intercourse. He told me that when I got to high school, we would do it. I couldn’t wait to get to high school so John could make me a woman. When I got to high school, I got a rude awakening.
    I had looked forward to this day for years. No more hiding. He would come in the morning and walk me to school, we’d sit together during lunch, and every afternoon he would walk me home. We would go out on dates. All the other girls would be so jealous of me because my boyfriend was a senor. But it wasn’t meant to be.
    On my first day in high school, I found out that my boyfriend, John, already had a girlfriend. One that he walked to school every morning and that he sat with at lunch; and one that he walked home every afternoon. When I confronted him about it, he told me that it was over between us. I was devastated. “After what we did, how can you do this to me?”
    “We ain’t do nothing but kiss and stuff. I ain’t never fuck you.”
    “I sucked your dick!” I shouted.
    All he did was smile. “You were just something to do, Tyhedra,” John said coldly. So I slapped him. He hit me in the face so hard it knocked me off my feet. I ran home crying and told my brother about it, and he went and beat John up for me. But I never did tell him why he hit me or what I had been doing with John. I didn’t tell anybody. I didn’t have to. By the time I was a sophomore it seemed like every boy in school knew that I was a dick sucker. Word had gotten around about what I had done with John, and now they were all trying to get with me. Calling me Ty head ra behind my back. It made my next three years of high school miserable. I hated John for what he did to me and all the other boys for how they made me feel.
    When I went away to college, I thought that things would be different for me. I went to a college far from home where nobody knew me. After a year away, I began to feel better about myself and thought that it would be all right to go out with men. By that time, I was no longer a skinny little girl. My body had developed into the woman that I wanted John to make me. I was getting attention from men and I enjoyed it. I had met this guy named Marvin who lived off campus. I liked him. He treated me with respect, so I finally went on a date with him. Since that went all right, I decided that it was time that I have sex—not just suck dick, which I hadn’t done in five years—but intercourse. I had used a vibrator on myself before and didn’t get anything from it. I thought that it was because it wasn’t real. I needed a man to feel something, or so I thought.
    Marvin took me to his apartment one afternoon and we did it. I enjoyed having a dick in my mouth again after all those years, but I got very little, if any, satisfaction from Marvin being inside me. He, on the other hand, thought being inside me was the best thing that ever happened to him. When he was done, Marvin jumped out of bed and quickly began getting dressed.
    “Come on, get up, you gotta go,” Marvin said, frantically putting on clothes and grabbing mine from the floor.
    “What’s wrong?” I asked and rolled out of bed.
    “Nothing,” he said and paused, “It’s just that my girlfriend will be home soon and she can’t find you here. So please, hurry up and get dressed so I can take you back to the dorm before she gets here.”
    “You got a girlfriend?” I asked as I took my time getting out of bed. I had the same feeling of hate that I had when I found out that John had been using me.
    “Yes,” he said coldly.
    “So what was I, just something to do?”
    Marvin smiled. “I like you, Tyhedra, but yeah, we’re just foolin’ around,