Going Down by Roy Glenn Read Free Book Online Page A

havin’ some fun. You know, something to do.”
    I didn’t say another word. I just got dressed and walked to the door with Marvin close behind me. I opened the door and went out into the hallway and looked down the long stairwell that led to his apartment. I couldn’t believe that it happened to me again—used by another man. The rage built up inside me. He came out and turned to lock the door. When he turned around and faced me, I pushed him down the steps.
    As I watched him tumble down the steps, I felt another feeling welling up inside me, but this time it wasn’t rage that I felt. When he got to the bottom of the steps, my whole body begin to shake from the inside out. I closed my eyes and my mouth fell open and I let out a sigh. I walked down the steps and looked at Marvin, he hadn’t moved. I walked out of the building and started to make my way back to the dorm on foot. That’s when I noticed that my panties were drenched and had soaked through my jeans. I found out the next day that Marvin was dead. It didn’t take me long to realize that I got an orgasm, not because of sex with Marvin, but because I killed him.
      After that, I tried to deny it. I met another man; his name was Charles. He was good to me, and he treated me with nothing but kindness and respect. As time went on, I began to believe that all men weren’t pigs. I stayed with him for the rest of my days at college and we had sex on a regular basic. It was great for him. I’ve been told that I have good pussy and I’m an awesome dick sucker, so you know he loved that. But for me, sex was always unsatisfying. No matter what I did or what he did to me, I never had another orgasm. Never even came close.
    When I graduated, I got a job in Kansas City and Charles and I lost contact. During my first year there, I explored my sexuality in a desperate attempt to find satisfaction. I had every kind of sex imaginable. I had sex with women and men. I had threesomes with two men, with a man and a woman, and with two women. I went to orgies. One of my partners took me to an underground sex club. I’ve had anal sex, bondage sex—hell, I even went to a dominatrix a few times. Still, I found no joy in sex. Through it all, my experience with Marvin stayed on my mind, but I always pushed it aside.
    That all changed one night when I was out with some coworkers. We went out for drinks to celebrate the completion of a project. By the end of the evening, everybody, except me, was pretty drunk. As the night went on and talk of sex became the topic of conversation, I allowed myself to think about the satisfaction I got from killing Marvin, and the only orgasm that I ever had. It was then that I noticed this guy. He had been wandering around the bar, hitting on just about every women in the place. When he approached our table, one of my coworkers shut him down and he stayed away from us for the rest of the night.
    Sometime around midnight, our party began to break up because we had to be at work in the morning. I left with my group, waved good-bye to everybody, and got in my car. I sat and watched as one by one they drove out of the parking lot. Once the last car was gone, I got out and went back inside. He was still there, sitting alone in a booth near the back. I walked over to the booth.
    “Is this seat taken?” I asked.
    He looked up at me and smiled. “I been keepin’ it warm just for you,” he said and slid over.
    “Why don’t you go and get me a drink,” I said, instead of sitting.
    He jumped to his feet and had to steady himself. “What are you drinking?”
    “Whatever you’re drinking,” I said and sat down. I watched him stagger to the bar. He wasn’t a bad looking man, but he was skinny. Tall and skinny. When he came back, he handed me a glass. “What are we drinking?” I asked, and he sat down next me.
    “Gin,” he said, and I could smell it on his breath. “That okay?”
    “Sure.”
    “You know what they say about gin?”
    “What’s