Goodnight Tweetheart by Teresa Medeiros Read Free Book Online

McConaughey, Viggo Mortensen, Sawyer from LOST and/or Sean Astin.
    MarkBaynard: Sean Astin? Samwise Gamgee???
    Abby_Donovan: Don’t you be dissin’ my plump little hobbit love muffin!
    MarkBaynard: I had you pegged as more of a Frodo woman.
    Abby_Donovan: Ha! Frodo was adorable but he couldn’t have found his ass with both hands without his loyal Samwise to help him.
    MarkBaynard: Even I have to admit it was a classic bromance.
    Abby_Donovan: I love that moment toward the end of the movie when Frodo wakes up & realizes he’s alive & Sam appears in the doorway & looks at him …
    Abby_Donovan: … as if to say, “I will always be your friend. I will always love you no matter what you’ve done & no matter what you’ll ever do.”
    MarkBaynard: “Even if that includes trying to hog up the ring of power for yourself and almost destroying the world, you greedy little bugger.”
    Abby_Donovan: I’ve always thought it would be lovely to have someone look at me that way. Besides Willow Tum-Tum, of course.
    MarkBaynard: What about Buffy the Mouse Slayer? Doesn’t she look at you that way too?
    Abby_Donovan: No, she looks at me as if to say, “If you were smaller, I know I could find a way to eat you.”
    MarkBaynard: Now that we’ve determined which hobbit you’d most like to perv on, it might be time to take the next step in our relationship.
    Abby_Donovan: Do I have to meet your parents?
    MarkBaynard: I don’t even want to meet my parents. Not for lunch. Not for coffee. Not for Thanksgiving.
    Abby_Donovan: They sound like charming people.
    MarkBaynard: Oh, they are. Sort of a cross between the Clampetts and the Borgias.
    Abby_Donovan: Do you have any brothers and sisters?
    MarkBaynard: I have a little sister who adores me and an older brother who doesn’t.
    Abby_Donovan: Why? Did Mommy always love you best?
    MarkBaynard: No, she loved me least. Except when she was drinking. Then she loved everybody. Especially the mailman, to whom I bear a marked resemblance.
    Abby_Donovan: As an only child whose siblings were strictly imaginary, I’m always fascinated by family dynamics.
    MarkBaynard: Trust me—sometimes imaginary is better. Of course sometimes inflatable is better too.
    Abby_Donovan: There you go again. Using humor as a defense mechanism.
    MarkBaynard: I figured out in the first grade that it was better to crack a joke than somebody’s skull.
    Abby_Donovan: It might just be your way of keeping people at arm’s length.
    MarkBaynard: Did I tell you the one about the daughter of the bipolar and the son of the drunk who walk into a bar together?
    Abby_Donovan: No, but I’m guessing one of them has a talking dog.
    MarkBaynard: And a mute, one-legged parrot.
    Abby_Donovan: So if I don’t get to meet your parents (or your parrot), then what IS the next step in our relationship?
    MarkBaynard: I’m kind of an old-fashioned guy so I thought I’d ask you out on a date before begging you to tweet me a topless photo.
    Abby_Donovan: A date? Won’t that be a challenge since we’re on different … you know … continents?
    MarkBaynard: No challenge is too great for Twitter. Just be in front of your computer on Friday night at 7 PM and I’ll pick you up.
    Abby_Donovan: You’re assuming I don’t have anything better to do on Friday night at 7 PM than have an imaginary date with a man I’ve never even met.
    MarkBaynard: Do you?
    Abby_Donovan: No.
    MarkBaynard: Good.
    Abby_Donovan: We’re in different time zones. Won’t that be after midnight for you?
    MarkBaynard: I don’t mind. I’m a notoriously lousy sleeper.
    Abby_Donovan: 7 PM it is, then. I’ll be waiting for you. Um … what should I wear? Casual or formal?
    MarkBaynard: Surprise me. (Although I’m hoping you haven’t completely ruled out the Catholic schoolgirl outfit.)
    Abby_Donovan: Goodnight Lorelei
    Abby_Donovan: Mark? Are you still there?
    Abby_Donovan: Did I do it? DID I DO IT???!!! Did I stump you?!
    MarkBaynard: I’m just afraid if I admit I