Gravitate by Jo Duchemin Read Free Book Online

gave me the locket and I had also been certain that he was going to kiss me, before we were interrupted. Yet, as I thought about it more, I s tarted to doubt my convictions. After all, in the pub Marty had decided to sit away from me, lea ving Ben the seat next to mine. Marty had been the one w ho gave my phone number to Ben. Marty had nodded when Ben asked me out. It was like he was trying to push me into a relationship with Ben.
    Then there was the other side to Marty: the caring, protective manner. The thoughtfulness: covering me with the blanket, carrying me home from the pub, buying me the beautiful locket, sitting with me while I went through my parents’ belongings – those surely we ren’t acts of random kindness. The connection I felt to Marty was also strong and I knew I hadn’t imagined the looks across the table in the pub, or the kiss that very nearly happened, or the way he happened to always be ready to catch me. My fuzzy memories from after the fight also dredged up a faint recollection of him ca lling me ‘baby’ as he held me.
    I decided that whatever the deal was with Marty, I clearly didn’t have all the facts . I wondered if perhaps Ben might know more than me and, if I was obliged to go out with him, at least I might be able to extract some more pieces of this c omplex jigsaw at the same time. Poor Ben. I didn’t want to lead him on, and if I couldn’t have Marty, I certainly wouldn’t be treat ing Ben as a consolation prize. I pondered on the possibility of what would have happened if I’d met Ben first – woul d I have been attracted to him? He was a nice guy, but it was like comparing sand and water – I knew at that moment, I didn’t want to live without Marty in my life. I’d never believed in love at first sight, or in falling in love really – I believed you could be in love, but that you arrived at that destination in baby steps, you didn’t fall uncontrollably . In my mind, whirlwind romances were just for people wh o didn’t think things through. Now, here I was, overanalysing as usual, and yet I’d fallen in love with my lodger in a matter of days. I was drawn to him in a way that seemed inevitable, as though, if I fought against it, I could only lose – yet I didn’t want to fight the attraction – I wanted to rev el in it, taste it, absorb it. The part that worried me most was that I had no idea if he felt the same way about me. With a growing sense of disbelief, I realised I wasn’t that worried that I hardly knew anything about him – nothing else mattered, as long as he felt the same way as me. It was like I hardly knew myself these days either.
    True to his word, Ben picked me up exactly at seven. I’d taken Marty’s advice and worn my hair up in a ponytail, more in the hope that Marty would come home early a nd see it than to impress Ben. I should have known Marty would also be true to his word and wou ld not be there to see me off.
    Ben had parked in the driveway and stepped into the kitchen for a few moments, while I finished getting ready. The kitchen had a completely d ifferent atmosphere to earlier. Less intense, less exciting. Nice, but dull.
    Ben’s car was much fancier than a lot of the student cars I saw parked at the university. He unlocked the doors, I opened the passenger door and slid in. I couldn’t help but compare him to Marty, who would have undoubt edly held the door open for me. Ben smiled as I did up my seatbelt.
    “Marty said you were a bit nervous in cars, since, well…” Ben trailed off.
    “Since the accident. Yeah, I’m working on being brave. I may shut my eye s when we come to roundabouts. It doesn’t help that I never finished learning to drive myself – I hated turning right and I nearly hit t he wall in front of our house. This is a really cool car. What make is it?”
    “Audi, and thanks, my dad bought it for me – h e doesn’t drive anything else. I think he was trying to br ibe me into studying economics. Was it that