Greatest Zombie Movie Ever by Jeff Strand Read Free Book Online

guaranteed, but—”
    â€œI’ve been joking around a lot during our meeting today,” said Grandma. “It’s what I do. I like to be the jolly old grandmother. ‘Oh, she’s a hoot!’ people say. But I’m not being a hoot right now. Right now I am being deeply serious. If I give you this money, it is not a birthday gift. It is not money for you to go out for ice cream with your friends. When I write you this check for five thousand dollars, I expect you to write me a check for more than five thousand dollars after this movie is released. I expect at least a twelve percent return on my investment. Do you feel that you can deliver a twelve percent return on investment?”
    She was kidding, right? She had to still be kidding. Any moment now she was going to laugh and throw another piece of cookie at his head.
    â€œYeah,” said Justin. “Twelve percent. I mean, that’s a fair request, I think.”
    There was no mirth in Grandma’s eyes. “And you’re willing to sign paperwork to that effect?”
    â€œYes, ma’am.”
    Gabe cleared his throat. “I think we should discuss this first.”
    Grandma nodded. “Very well. I’ll go make more lemonade. You have five minutes.”
    Grandma stood up and walked out of the room. Gabe checked to make sure she was truly gone and then lowered his voice. “I don’t want to owe your grandmother anything if the project falls apart.”
    â€œIt’s not going to fall apart.”
    â€œMovies fall apart all the time! We had a movie fall apart two days ago! A third of five thousand dollars is one thousand, six hundred, sixty-six dollars, and sixty-seven cents. I can’t pay that back.”
    â€œPlus the twelve percent,” said Bobby.
    â€œRight. Plus the twelve percent.”
    â€œHow much is that?”
    â€œOne thousand, eight hundred, sixty-six dollars, and sixty-seven cents.”
    â€œHow’d you do that in your head?”
    Gabe ignored him. “Justin, I want to help you make the movie, and I’m willing to do what it takes to raise the money. But I don’t want to be in debt to anybody. I don’t think it’s even legal for us to promise her a return on her investment, and I don’t think it’s legal of her to demand one, so it’s not like it would hold up in a court of law, especially since we’re minors and this is a grandson-grandmother agreement. But still, my parents will shred me if I do something like this.”
    â€œI totally understand,” said Justin.
    â€œWe can still do a bake sale,” said Bobby.
    â€œOh, we will. But I’m going to accept the five thousand dollars, and I’ll take the full responsibility for paying it back.”
    â€œWhat if the movie doesn’t get finished?” asked Gabe.
    â€œIt will.”
    â€œOkay, but for the sake of argument, what if it doesn’t?”
    â€œThat’s not an option.”
    â€œIt’s not an option after your grandmother hires goons to break your legs, but right now we do have options, so let’s discuss them.”
    â€œNo safety net, remember? I’m making this movie. And it’s going to be amazing. And if we can’t earn back fifty-two hundred dollars, I deserve Grandma’s wrath.”
    â€œFifty-six hundred dollars.”
    â€œI thought you said your share would be one thousand, eight hundred, sixty-six dollars, and sixty-seven cents? That’s two hundred dollars more than… Oh, right, it’s times three. Fifty-six hundred dollars is right. I’m still taking the money.”
    â€œShould I be knocking you unconscious and dragging you out of here for your own good?”
    â€œNah.”
    Gabe turned to Bobby. “Any thoughts?”
    â€œI wish my grandmother would give me five grand.”
    â€œAll right,” said Gabe. “I’ve expressed my objections. You’ve officially ignored