Hair in All The Wrong Places by Andrew Buckley Read Free Book Online

sweating, he was practically leaking.
    Finally, a bit of popularity.
    Colin smiled drunkenly and fell off his stool but quickly scrambled to his feet.
    â€œWhat on earth is going on, Mr. Strauss?” snapped Mr. Winter.
    Colin staggered toward the door using the tables as support and muttered something about the bathroom. He crashed out of the door and collapsed in the hallway as Mr. Winter started to shout something but was cut off as the door swung shut.
    The floor felt cool on his face, but he scrambled to his feet and made his way down the hallway toward the bathroom. He couldn’t seem to get his arms and legs to work properly.
    Managing to turn on a tap, he splashed water on his already damp face.
    As he looked up into the mirror, Colin was astonished to see the wolf creature from his morning shower standing right behind him, snarling. Colin spun around to facean empty bathroom, and he started to laugh. It sounded somewhat maniacal; the sort of laughter you might hear in a mental institution. Unexpectedly, the buzzing stopped, the blinding pain subsided, and he regained full control of his gangly limbs once again.
    He looked at his reflection. Same Colin. He was double-checking the bathroom to make sure there was no large, hairy, scary-looking creature lurking in any of the stalls when Jeremy burst in. “Jeremy! You scared me!”
    â€œAre you okay? Winter sent me to check on you, but you look more like yourself now. What happened back there? And was that you laughing before I came in here?”
    Colin shrugged. “I don’t know. I really don’t know. I couldn’t hear. There was this buzzing sound. I think I might be going crazy, Jer.”
    â€œYou were growling in class.”
    â€œGrowling?”
    â€œYeah, like a dog. Did you get contacts?” said Jeremy.
    â€œWhat? No, I …”
    Colin felt his face for his glasses.
    I forgot my glasses?
    â€œI thought you were blind without those things?”
    â€œI … geez, Jer. I have no idea what’s going on with me. There was this whole thing last night with a car and then Becca was there, and I keep seeing this—”
    â€œWhat? What are you seeing?” suddenly Jeremy got excited. “Are you hallucinating? Because that would be awesome.”
    Colin just looked at Jeremy, but despite the joke, he could see his friend’s worry. “I’m sure it’s nothing.”
    â€œYou sure? Do you want me to take you to the nurse?”
    â€œNo, I’m feeling much better.” Colin hurriedly assured his friend. “Maybe I’m getting the flu or something.” The Elkwood School nurse was a monster of a woman called Mrs. Turnbull who had never heard the term
bedside manner
. She also didn’t like to be interrupted, ever. Only the truly sick students of Elkwood ever went to Mrs. Turnbull’s office.
    â€œAnd the glasses?”
    â€œI’ve been eating a lot of vitamin A lately?”
    Jeremy gave him one of those slow blinking low stares that clearly said
you’re kidding, right?
    Mr. Winter burst into the bathroom, slamming the door hard against the wall. “Back to class, Mr. Rodson!”
    â€œYes, sir,” said Jeremy, making a quick exit.
    Mr. Winter waited until the door was closed and then grabbed Colin by the shirtfront, pushing him hard up against the wall. “Just what do you think you’re doing disrupting my class? Do you know how important biology is? It’s everywhere! It’s in me, it’s in you, it’s all over the place, and no one really understands it, so that’s why we have to study it! Do you understand me, boy?”
    Colin was too shocked to speak. A teacher was attacking him! Mr. Winter’s eyes looked different. Like he was on drugs or something. The muscles in his face were tense and strained.
    Colin nodded.
    â€œNow get your ugly, useless, self back to class and read the chapter! Idiot!” Mr. Winter released