Heartbeat Away by Laura Summers Read Free Book Online

after her little brother. ‘I’m just really worried about getting ill again,’ I tell her.
    â€˜But I thought you were OK now?’
    â€˜I am . . . but it’s not that simple. I have to take a whole load of tablets to stop my body rejecting my new heart. But the thing is they suppress my immune system which means I’m more likely to catch colds or other infections . . . which could also make my heart fail.’
    â€˜But, Becky, you can’t live your life worrying about every little germ. They’re everywhere. You’d go completely bonkers!’
    I look at her. Maybe it’s true: my fears are sending me crazy; that’s why I’m seeing things that aren’t really there. I bite my lip.
    But Leah knows me too well. She knows there is more. ‘What is it?’ she asks.
    â€˜If I tell you, you won’t spread it around . . . tell anyone?’
    â€˜Course not. Cross my h—’ She stops abruptly. We exchange smirks. ‘You can trust me, Becky.’
    I take a deep breath and exhale slowly as Leah warily scans my face.
    â€˜Something has happened to me since the operation.’ I begin, relieved to be telling someone at last. ‘I . . . I’ve been seeing things. Things that aren’t there.’
    â€˜What do you mean, seeing things? What sort of things?’
    I shrug. ‘It’s difficult to explain and I probably am going completely mad so maybe that’s why —’
    â€˜Becky, what have you seen?’
    â€˜Places I’ve never been to but still recognise. A big park and a street, always the same street, and halfway down it a house with green shutters. And this house, I know every single brick, every roof tile, every plant in its garden but I don’t understand, because I’ve never been there before.’ I sneak a peek at her puzzled face. ‘And . . . that’s not all. I keep seeing someone I’ve never met before. But it’s like I’ve always known him.’
    â€˜Him?’
    â€˜A boy. About my own age. Maybe a bit older.’
    â€˜So who is he?’
    â€˜I don’t know. But he’s really angry . . . and I think it’s my fault.’
    â€˜How could it be your fault, Becky? You said you don’t even know him.’
    There’s an awkward pause before I manage to say, ‘What if he’s my donor . . .’
    Leah stares at me. ‘Becky, don’t!’ she snaps.
    â€˜Don’t what?’
    â€˜Don’t beat yourself up over getting your new heart.’
    â€˜What do you mean?’
    â€˜Whoever your donor was, he or she died. That isn’t your fault, OK? They signed a donor card because they wanted someone else to have their heart after their death.’
    We sit quietly for a moment.
    â€˜So am I just going crazy?’ I ask her finally.
    â€˜Course not, don’t be so daft,’ she says firmly, but I can’t help noticing the uncomfortable look on her face.

21
    I miss school the following day as I have my weekly check- up at the hospital. They’re running late at the clinic, and the waiting room’s packed. After checking in with the nurse, Mum and I sit down on the last two empty chairs in the corner. Sitting next to me is a girl with honey-coloured hair, cut short in a bob. She looks up, then hands me the glossy magazine on her lap.
    â€˜Here,’ she says, ‘it’s this month’s. Full of incredibly thin models wearing unbelievably expensive clothes.’ As she smiles, her green eyes sparkle mischievously. ’Just like last month’s actually.’
    â€˜Thanks.’
    She’s wearing a blue, round-necked top, edged with green lace but I can just see the faint, bumpy white line of a scar starting from the bottom of her neck and running downwards. I quickly avert my eyes but it’s too late, she’s noticed me looking.
    â€˜Sorry,’ I mumble. ‘Didn’t mean to stare. My scar’s