Hello God by Moya Simons Read Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Moya Simons
told me that I had real guts and a beautiful scalp. He said I’d never have to worry about dandruff, but I wasn’t sure that was funny.
Matt said, ‘Good for you.’
Having their support was a great encouragement, so I held my bald head high.
Danielle and Stacey stared at me as if I’d just landed from another planet. I told them it was for Stephanie. Stacey didn’t say a word, she smiled knowingly and nodded at me. Danielle told me I was brave, that she couldn’t do what I had done, not for anyone, but when she next had a haircut she’d tell herself it was for Stephanie. That was a huge thing, coming from Danielle.
We finished our big, beautiful card for Stephanie at school. We eachwrote our own message of love and support. I took it to her this afternoon.
Molly was dressed as a green dragon when I arrived with the boys.
She knows us well now and stopped us before we went to the ward.
Steph wasn’t allowed visitors today. She was tired and sleeping. Molly said we now have to phone before we visit.
I asked Molly to give the card to Stephanie, and then I hiccupped in her face.
Molly held out her green hand and took the large card. She told me to jump up and down for five minutes and the hiccups would go. Then she told me I was doing a fine thing. I didn’t know what she meant, God. It was my beanie, I suppose. Wearing it in summer was a giveaway. I was embarrassed because I felt small and powerless. You wouldn’t know what that feels like.
When I came home the builders were packing their tools away after working on Nan’s grannyflat. It’s going to take a while, and the baby is coming very soon. Mum’s tum is round like a melon. The baby has turned, Mum told me. That means he’s facing downwards now, ready for his journey into the world.
I’m starting to worry about him. Does that mean I love him already? Do you worry about the people you love? I guess that means I love Steph. I worry such a lot about her.
Hello nothing,
It’s three days since I last saw Steph. The treatment is making her extra tired. When I first heard that it seemed okay. At least once she had more energy she could leave the hospital, then Steph, Matt, Adam and I would climb the rope ladder to Steph’s tree house and watch the world go by.
Now it turns out that I’ve been told lies. I know that because we met Stephanie’s mother at the shops, and she told my mum that Steph isn’t getting better. Later I asked Mum what was happening with Steph. Mum said Stephanieneeded more time for the medication to work. Then she turned away and peeled carrots and wouldn’t look at me.
My parents are lying to me and you are too, God, because not answering my questions and letting me have hope when there isn’t any, that’s a lie. If you are there, then you could have found a way, sent a sign, anything to let me know what was going to happen.
Today Molly wore a long yellow wig and a lacy dress. ‘I’m Cinderella at the ball, in case you’re wondering, Kate,’ she said before she told me Stephanie had been moved.
Even she’s lying. Getting into fancy dress just to make everyone feel better is not telling the truth.
I passed Steph’s parents in the corridor talking to a doctor. The doctor had his hands in his pockets. Steph’s parents looked sadder than sad.
I hiccupped my way into Steph’s room.
She was in there by herself, all hooked up to machines. She looked so small, so pale and yes, so beautiful. I don’t know why this was so. It seemed that her eyes had become so large, as if everything I’d ever wanted to know was held within them.
I sat beside her, sipping water, looking at the balloons and cheery paintings of fairies and rabbits on the walls. It was a lie too. If I could only take Steph back to her tree house, to her quiet place, wouldn’t she get better?
I lied to myself then.
Steph told me that her voice was tired and that I might have to read the end of her story to the children in her ward.
I told her
Matt said, ‘Good for you.’
Having their support was a great encouragement, so I held my bald head high.
Danielle and Stacey stared at me as if I’d just landed from another planet. I told them it was for Stephanie. Stacey didn’t say a word, she smiled knowingly and nodded at me. Danielle told me I was brave, that she couldn’t do what I had done, not for anyone, but when she next had a haircut she’d tell herself it was for Stephanie. That was a huge thing, coming from Danielle.
We finished our big, beautiful card for Stephanie at school. We eachwrote our own message of love and support. I took it to her this afternoon.
Molly was dressed as a green dragon when I arrived with the boys.
She knows us well now and stopped us before we went to the ward.
Steph wasn’t allowed visitors today. She was tired and sleeping. Molly said we now have to phone before we visit.
I asked Molly to give the card to Stephanie, and then I hiccupped in her face.
Molly held out her green hand and took the large card. She told me to jump up and down for five minutes and the hiccups would go. Then she told me I was doing a fine thing. I didn’t know what she meant, God. It was my beanie, I suppose. Wearing it in summer was a giveaway. I was embarrassed because I felt small and powerless. You wouldn’t know what that feels like.
When I came home the builders were packing their tools away after working on Nan’s grannyflat. It’s going to take a while, and the baby is coming very soon. Mum’s tum is round like a melon. The baby has turned, Mum told me. That means he’s facing downwards now, ready for his journey into the world.
I’m starting to worry about him. Does that mean I love him already? Do you worry about the people you love? I guess that means I love Steph. I worry such a lot about her.
Hello nothing,
It’s three days since I last saw Steph. The treatment is making her extra tired. When I first heard that it seemed okay. At least once she had more energy she could leave the hospital, then Steph, Matt, Adam and I would climb the rope ladder to Steph’s tree house and watch the world go by.
Now it turns out that I’ve been told lies. I know that because we met Stephanie’s mother at the shops, and she told my mum that Steph isn’t getting better. Later I asked Mum what was happening with Steph. Mum said Stephanieneeded more time for the medication to work. Then she turned away and peeled carrots and wouldn’t look at me.
My parents are lying to me and you are too, God, because not answering my questions and letting me have hope when there isn’t any, that’s a lie. If you are there, then you could have found a way, sent a sign, anything to let me know what was going to happen.
Today Molly wore a long yellow wig and a lacy dress. ‘I’m Cinderella at the ball, in case you’re wondering, Kate,’ she said before she told me Stephanie had been moved.
Even she’s lying. Getting into fancy dress just to make everyone feel better is not telling the truth.
I passed Steph’s parents in the corridor talking to a doctor. The doctor had his hands in his pockets. Steph’s parents looked sadder than sad.
I hiccupped my way into Steph’s room.
She was in there by herself, all hooked up to machines. She looked so small, so pale and yes, so beautiful. I don’t know why this was so. It seemed that her eyes had become so large, as if everything I’d ever wanted to know was held within them.
I sat beside her, sipping water, looking at the balloons and cheery paintings of fairies and rabbits on the walls. It was a lie too. If I could only take Steph back to her tree house, to her quiet place, wouldn’t she get better?
I lied to myself then.
Steph told me that her voice was tired and that I might have to read the end of her story to the children in her ward.
I told her