Hidden Shadows (The Shadow Series Book 1) by Lauren Hope Read Free Book Online

done some great work with people . . . well, worse off than I am, I guess.”
    She glanced down, laughed a little nervously. Picking at her nails, she eyed the paperwork in front of Jenna. “You’ve seen my history?”
    Jenna had. Three previous pregnancies all ending in miscarriage. She nodded and Heidi continued.
    “I’m in my second trimester, twentieth week actually. While I’m overwhelmed with relief and excitement getting past that thirteen week mark, I'm still apprehensive. I guess I’m just nervous and unsure what to expect since I’ve never made it this far. I feel delicate, fragile. I want to do normal things but I'm afraid. I don’t want to lose this one. I can’t lose those one." Heidi’s voice wavered and she glanced down, this time rubbing the curve of her belly with intentional, tender strokes.
    “The truth is I just need someone to talk to. I want to talk about what’s happened in the past and the possibilities for this baby. It’s almost like my fear hasn’t let me focus or plan, or really even hope that this time will be different. But deep down, I know this is gonna work, this baby is going to be born.
    “I want to be happy and healthy for my child. And I feel I may still have some things to learn, to talk through, before I’m there. Ben lends a wonderful ear,” Heidi gazed at him with gratefulness and what appeared to Jenna to be a hint of guilt, “but I know it gets hard listening to my struggles and mostly my ramblings.”
    Isn’t that what he’s supposed to do? Jenna thought. She knew how difficult a high-risk pregnancy and pregnancy loss could be on the partner of a woman. She’d seen it many times. But the least the guy could do was lend a listening ear. Maybe Ben Aston didn’t offer much more than his good looks.
    Heidi smiled widely and plopped her hands in her lap. “So, that’s why I’m here. And that’s probably the longest answer you’ve ever gotten to that question. Sorry!”
    Jenna laughed. “Don’t be. I’m happy you know why you’re here and what you hope to gain from your visits. Being able to pinpoint that and convey it to me helps me, too. Now, I’ll know what to focus on in the upcoming months. Dr. Blake did recommend Perinatal Services for your remaining four months of pregnancy plus two months postpartum, correct?” Jenna asked, again referencing Heidi’s file.
    “Yes,” Heidi nodded.
    “Good. Well, to highlight what I’m here for, in conjunction with your OB, I’ll be happy to answer any questions you have about your pregnancy or the upcoming birth. If you’re not feeling well or have concerns and Dr. Blake is unable to see you quickly, I can advise you as needed. I’ll, of course, be glad to listen all you want and will also be pointing you in the right direction with classes and education that will help you get through all your fears and feelings until the baby comes.
    “While I know the focus of your visits is for this baby in particular,” Jenna gestured to Heidi’s stomach, "I’m in agreement with you that we can and should visit your past pregnancy losses. Especially if you feel it is hindering you in any way from moving forward positively—either physically or emotionally——with this pregnancy. How much you’d like to linger there, though, will be your choice. I’m primarily here to hold your hand. Be your guide. Think of me as the hand on the bicycle when you're first learning to ride. I don’t want to push you in a direction you don’t need to go. My goal is to be behind you until you don’t need me anymore. Then, I’ve done my job.
    “Today though, I’ll start by giving you some options of classes you might want to attend.” Jenna paused and shuffled through the dozens of papers on her desk, pulling the appropriate information pages and pamphlets as she went. “There’s Care for Newborns, Breastfeeding Basics, Infant Safety and CPR, Lactation Consultation for after the baby’s born, even Foundations for Fatherhood,