Hold On Tight (Take My Hand) by Nicola Haken Read Free Book Online

Sarah mollified. “The
only thing your mom would want is for you to be free of that man. For you to be
free – period. For you to live your life with that beautiful girl…” She
gestured her hand to Emily who smiled coyly. “If anyone finds out what you did
that day, you could lose everything. The future your mom always prayed you
would have would be ruined. The fact is, Dex… although I despise your father
and what he’s doing, I love you more
than I hate him. He can take the
house – I’ll get over it. I won’t get over losing you .”
    “Fuck this,” I grunted. A thousand
different emotions were pressing so heavily on my shoulders – crushing
me… consuming me. I couldn’t cope. I couldn’t think straight or see clearly.
Everything in sight had a deep red aura around it. It was like there was so
much hatred flowing through my veins, it was beginning to seep out through my
eyes – tainting everything an angry shade of crimson. “I’m going for a
run.”

 
    **********

 
    I set off without a destination in mind
but it seemed my body knew exactly where it was going. Ten minutes after
slamming the front door behind me, I was standing on Jaxon’s porch.
    “You got through that stash pretty
quick,” was his opening line. He knew exactly what I wanted from him. “Need a
bit more this time?” I shrugged nonchalantly, even though I was anything but. I
wasn’t in fact cool, I was stressing the fuck out and I needed something to
take that away. Hey, don’t judge me. I only needed a tiny bit more. I know my limits, okay? “Want company?” he asked,
and it felt like life had rewound five years. Only this time I didn’t want
company. I wasn’t in it for fun – I was in it to forget.
    “Nah, I’m good. Going home now, man.
Just getting a little in for the New Year in case I don’t get time to pop by,”
I lied. New Year? That was almost a week away. This shit would be flowing through
my system within minutes.
    “Cool, whatever.” We carried out the
exchange quickly and to anyone looking in on us, it was no more than a
handshake. “Catch you around, dude.” I offered a curt nod in response and set
off straight into another sprint.
    I ran until I reached the park I took
Emily to the day after she found out about my mom – the day after I let
her down. Again. Just like I was doing now. I knew I was being selfish but I
couldn’t help it. Sometimes life is so overwhelming. So painful. It’s excruciating.
    The talking, the counseling, the deep
breathing bullshit… it doesn’t work. Nothing can numb the agony ravaging my insides like one tiny little hit. I know you
think I’m losing it again, just like I know Emily and Aunt Sarah would think
the same if they knew. But you’re wrong. The last time I let the gear take
control it was because I didn’t give a shit. I didn’t care if I was nothing
– if I had nothing . I didn’t care if I lost everything and
everyone. In fact, part of me wanted to
because I knew that’s what I deserved.
    So you see, it didn’t take hold of me
– I gave myself over to it. But I won’t this time. I’ve got too much to
lose. In all honesty I don’t know if I deserve to love and be loved, but this time I don’t want to lose it. This time I will fight to the death to keep it. This time, I’m in control.
    Leaning back against the damp, moss
coated tree trunk, I closed my eyes and welcomed the numbness taking over my
thoughts and my senses.

Chapter Six

 
    ~Emily~
                                            

 
 
    Dexter had gone for a run to
clear his head so I decided this was the perfect opportunity to call home. Up
in our bedroom, I called Chris first, wanting to get him out of the way first.
As expected he lectured me a little. He banged on about my education and the
fact that I was putting people I barely knew before my friends and family. Then
he brought up money and the fact my visa won’t last forever blah,