Hold the Pickles by Vicki Grant Read Free Book Online

I used was toxic. I slapped my hand against my chest, and my elbow ripped through my toilet paper sleeve.
    I leaned down to see if she was all right. I could smell her rose perfume.
    â€œBrooke…? Are you all right? Brooke?” I gave her a little shake.
    The costume was empty.

Chapter Sixteen
    I don’t know if it was the rose perfume or the shock of finding out that Brooke was gone, but my body reacted. I jerked forward and sneezed so hard that I tore the face and bum right out of my costume. It was pretty much toast after that.
    The impact knocked Frank to the ground. I saw with horror that his whole left side was covered in dirt and ketchup (not his own).
    A thousand bucks. That’s what I kept thinking. Poor Hammy.
    Poor me.
    I looked at the big clock in the middle of the hall. 2:58 . Despite all his faults, Hammy was always on time. He would be here any minute. I instinctively turned toward the stairs to check if I was too late.
    I didn’t see Hammy, but I saw something else.
    A big red purse.
    I squinted through the crowd. Yes. That was Kelsey’s purse. Over by the exit. I stood on my tippy toes. Kelsey was talking to someone. He turned toward me.
    It was Shane.
    He moved his big square head, and I saw that Brooke was there too. She had her hand on his arm and was laughing.
    With all the trouble I was in and all the trouble I was going to be in, I should have been worrying about more important things than whether a girl liked me or not. But I wasn’t. All I could think was, Brooke’s laughing at one of Shane’s jokes.
    It broke my heart. As if on cue, the bit of toilet paper still clinging to my hips slid to the floor. Standing there in my underwear, I couldn’t deny it any longer. Shane really was more Brooke’s type than I was.
    I heard the squeal of a door opening and turned around. Blue Boy came barreling out of the washroom and was running right for me. He was talking into his shoulder, just like they do in the movies.
    I suddenly understood.
    The outfit. The beefy build. Kicking the cubicles open. This guy was the security guard.
    I turned again and saw Hammy, right on schedule, walking through the middle of the crowd. He had fresh samples on his tray and a big grin on his face.
    I read somewhere that when a person is in the middle of a disaster, things happen in slow motion. I can now say for a fact that it’s one-hundred-percent true.
    Everything wound down. The sound turned off. I saw the world clearly.
    The security guard was going to arrest me, either for pickpocketing or public nudity or both. Hammy was going to watch it happen and then get arrested too. So was Brooke. For one brief moment I pictured the two of us, together at last. I was almost looking forward to it until I realized the paddy wagon probably wasn’t the best place to start a relationship. Meanwhile, Kelsey was going to walk out the door with all the money in her big red purse.
    The security guard kept charging toward me. His arms were pumping. His mouth was stretched back toward his ears from the effort. Sweat sprayed off his forehead in a sparkling silver arc. I even had time in my slow-motion world to think that it looked kind of pretty.
    I can explain everything to the security guard, I thought.
    No, I decided, it would take too long to convince him. Kelsey would be gone by then.
    I had to get the purse myself. I needed evidence.
    I looked at the Frank Lee Better costume. I realized it was too late put it on. I realized I was going to have to run through the crowded hall in my one-hundred-percent-cotton, Y-front briefs. I realized I had no other choice.
    It was a split-second decision. I bolted out ahead of the security guard. The few remaining squares of toilet paper flew off my shoulders like autumn leaves off a speeding car. People looked at me and laughed. I didn’t slow down. I kept going, even when I knocked a mascot called Sushi Sue right onto her wasabi.
    Kelsey heard the