Hopeless For You by Hayden Hill Read Free Book Online Page A

I've been dragging my feet. Good thing I got the nerve to propose to you tonight or you would've beaten me to the punch."
    I shook my head. "Honestly, I've had it a few months but I never actually had the nerve to propose. I decided I'd give it to you when you gave me mine. To show you how much I love you. Take it. Use it to remember me when we're apart."
    "I don't need a ring to remember you but I'll take it." He slid the ring onto his left hand and we kissed again, a polite kiss that was mindful of the watching eyes of my folks. Though I supposed we shouldn't have been shy because everything was official now.
    Devon snuck into my room that night and for the first time we had sex while my folks were home. Devon picked up on my urgency and we made love with the same intensity as we'd kissed beneath the Christmas tree. I'm not really sure what had gotten into me, but I felt like we had to treat every moment we had together as something precious.
    I stifled my moans with the pillow, and when we were done, I just held him in my arms, not wanting to ever let go.
    "What's wrong?" Devon said.
    "Nothing." I couldn't keep the sadness from my voice.
    "Ash..."
    "Just promise you'll never leave me?"
    He sat up in bed and tenderly held my cheek. I could see his green eyes in the dim light of the lamp. "Of course I won't. You mean everything to me."
    I closed my eyes and nuzzled his chest.
    "Baby, what's wrong?" he said.
    "Nothing." I wore the bravest smile I had.
    He knew I was lying. "Tell me."
    I sighed. "I guess, well, I'm scared."
    "Of what? Married life?"
    That wasn't it, but I murmured in agreement, anyway.
    "Nothing's going to change, Ash." He entwined his left hand through mine and our engagement rings touched with a satisfying clink , just as they had during our lovemaking. "Things are only going to get better from here on out. I'll never leave you. I swear it."
    We made love again.
    It was a perfect day.
    * * *
    We'd been fighting.
    Devon had wanted to wait the traditional three months before hosting the engagement party, but I'd insisted on having the engagement party sooner. As in right away.
    It just seemed, well, too good to be true. I kept having this premonition of bad things to come. Which was strange because I knew life wasn't out to get me, that bad things didn't happen to good people.
    But I also knew my mom and dad had divorced when I was ten years old.
    Most ten-year-old kids were good.
    All I could do was bury myself in the engagement party planning, and of course, the subsequent wedding. I tried my best to ignore the premonition but it ran through everything I did like this poisonous undercurrent, making my voice bitter when it should have been happy, sarcastic when it should have been serious.
    Needless to say, Devon had trouble dealing with this new, insecure me. It didn't help that my plans for the party, not to mention the wedding, didn't match his own.
    I wanted the best wedding ever. I wanted singers and dancers and a big cake and all my friends and an amazing buffet with nine different stations. Weddings only happened once in a lifetime, at least as far as I was concerned, and a wedding was the one time it was okay to really go all out and splurge and not feel bad about it. Gina and I had been dreaming about getting married since we were five years old, so of course I wanted everything involving the wedding to be special, including the engagement party.
    Devon, on the other hand, wanted a small wedding, and an even smaller engagement party. Thankfully, my folks also wanted a big one, and since the engagement party was traditionally hosted by the bride's family, I got my way in the end. At least for the engagement party.
    Gina helped me plan everything. She was my maid of honor and wedding/engagement party planner rolled into one. Devon and I usually ate Mexican on Saturdays for dinner, so of course I insisted on having a Mexican theme for the engagement party. Despite the short notice, Gina called in some