How to Make Love to a Woman by Xaviera Hollander Read Free Book Online Page A

of subtle sucking, my clit cries out for more rigorous attention. Those of you who are new to clit play, proceed with caution and pay attention to your lover’s responses. Learn from them.
“Although I dislike the predatory aspect of deflowering as many virgins as one can, there’s nothing wrong with an older, loving person showing a novice a few tricks regarding getting laid. We tend to teach our young people everything except how to screw.”
—Xaviera Hollander, Penthouse Letters , November 1977
    A good lover will take the time and energy to explore his woman’s body and learn all the sensations that rock her boat. Most men will discover her G-spot during the journey. If that’s not enough help, however, do this: Wet your fingers with saliva or a water-based lubricant and insert two fingers into the vagina. Touch the posterior wall with your index finger. The sensation of putting pressure on that back wall is often enough to get a woman going. Talk to her while you are doing it and pay attention to her responses. There will be some women who find it uncomfortable (in a bad way) and, if that is the case, move on!
    You will know that you are at the G-spot because the skin there feels differently than the rest of the lining of the vaginal walls. The G-spot feels like a small area of wrinkled skin, where the rest of the lining feels taut. Once you’ve located it, move your fingers around, caressing the spot. Tickle it. Make the “come here” motion with your finger, a sort of scooping motion. You can also use the other hand to stimulate her clit, or use your tongue. Most women really get off on the combination of fellatio and hand-stimulation of the G-spot.
    Pleasurable vaginal play depends on moving slowly to generate fairly symmetrical sensations, and remembering that the border between pleasure and pain here is razor thin. A man should get to know the size and shape of his partner’s vagina, and remember that it changes shape depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle and how excited she gets.
    Be aware that problems for women reaching orgasm can be physical in nature. Beware of hooded clitoris syndrome: A little foreskin over her clit could be preventing her from feeling sensations she would otherwise experience. If this is the problem, the covering can be surgically removed and the problem will no doubt disappear along with the extra skin. If the problem lies elsewhere, it won’t be so easily remedied. I hate to suggest that one use alcohol to enjoy sex—drinks just help to deaden certain erotic possibilities—but some women might need a little alcohol just to help overcome inhibitions. Also, you may be placing too much emphasis on her having an orgasm. It isn’t everything, despite what a number of sexologists say. Sex can be great without orgasms. Don’t get me wrong—I love my orgasms, but it doesn’t always have to end with a big bang.
    For the more adventurous couple, here’s a tip I love from howtohavegoodsex.com, a great source for matters of the female body: Using your index finger and thumb this time, pull together some of the tissue from the vaginal walls and rub it together using the finger and thumb. Start out very carefully and very gently and pay attention to her response. If you are causing irritation or she just doesn’t like the feeling, move along. However, many women have been driven up the wall by this, so it’s worth a try. Remember, it is better to err on the side of too soft, rather than too hard, as too soft isn’t likely to end your play but causing pain will. Always give her two different sensations at the same time and then ask her which she likes better. It is easier for women (or anyone, for that matter) to answer a question if it is simple: “Do you like this?” . . . “Uh huh.” . . . “Or this?” . . . “Uh huh.” . . . “But which?” . . . “Uh huh.” Be ready for that. She just might like it all.
    Take care not to lose that bear! The vagina is the