How To Make People Like You In 90 Seconds Or Less by Nicholas Boothman Read Free Book Online Page B

inferred by the tonality. Suppose you let your team down and somebody is heard to
     quip, “That was brilliant,” with a tonality that communicates annoyance. It's a very
     different case when you score a fantastic goal and the same person is heard to say with excitement, “That was brilliant!”
    Congruity, then, has one unshakable rule and it is this: If your gestures, tone and words
     do not say the same thing, people will believe the gestures. Go up to someone you know,
     purse your lips and say, “I really like you,” with your eyebrows raised and your arms
     folded. Ask them what they think. Even better, go find a mirror and try it. Well? You get
     my point. Your gestures are a giveaway to what you really mean.

How to Make People Like You In 90 Seconds Or Less

Being Yourself
    Do you feel nervous when you meet someone new? Physiologically, being nervous and being
     excited have a lot in common: pounding heart, churning tummy, high chest breathing and the
     general jitters. But one of these states might send you hightailing it for the nearest
     dark corner while the other one can serve you well and propel you forward. There is a
     tendency for panic to accompany nervousness, and this quite naturally makes bodily
     activities speed up. Because much of your nervousness stems from increased awareness,
     try redirecting some of your awareness toward slowing down and being more deliberate.
     One great technique is to imagine that your nostrils are just below your navel and that
     your in-and-out breaths are happening down there. The slower you are, within reason, the more in control you will appear.
    The sooner you start telling yourself that you're excited rather than nervous, the sooner
     you'll be able to convince your subconscious that this is actually how you feel. And, in
     fact, that's really all that matters. Change your attitude, and your body language and
     voice tone will change to reflect your new attitude. Keep in mind that most people are as
     eager as you are to establish rapport. They will generously give you the benefit of the
     doubt.
    Don't try too hard! In a study conducted at Princeton University, students of both
     sexes were questioned about their methods of sizing up people they met for the first
     time. Overeagerness was one of the most reported turnoffs. Don't smile too hard, don't try
     to be too witty, don't be overpolite and avoid the temptation to be patronizing.
    As you become more at ease with your attitude, people will begin to notice
     characteristics that are unique to youthat set you apart from the others and define you as
     an individual. You will naturally and easily project the likable parts of your own
     unique personality and have more conscious control and confidence in your ability to
     create rapport at will.
    It's just about impossible to be incongruent when you are operating from inside any kind
     of attitude, useful or otherwise. Because your attitude precedes you, it is an essential
     component of the first impression you make on new acquaintances.
    sense of humor. What a relief! My aunt in Scotland is a medical doctor, and so is her daughter. They think alike.
    Another coincidence? The plumber in our village comes from three generations of plumbers. The woman who sold me a big ripe Gouda cheese at the Wednesday market in p>Leiden, just outside Amsterdam, had her mother and her daughter working for her. All dressed the same.
    What's going on here? Is there some kind of pattern emerging? How come they are so much alike? They have all grown up with harmonious behavior on many levels,
    physical and mental. They have synchrony.
    Since he was only three years old, my neighbor's youngest son has handled a fishing rod with great respect, just like his dad. He sits a certain way, just like his dad, and when he's
     threading the hook, he glances at his father from moment to moment to see if he's doing it
     correctly: a certain, almost imperceptible